Wednesday, January 28, 2009
When the sound of a laminated 3 by 2 business card is heard slapping the palm of a hand on every street corner, you just might be in Las Vegas.
When the sounds of jackhammers fill the air as concrete dust flows above your head in every direction, you just might be in Las Vegas.
When the smell of jello shots made with all the colors of the rainbow fills every casino entrance doorway, you just might be in Las Vegas.
Infinite Et Cetera returns on February 2nd, 2009. Arrivahderchie
(Please reply to this post with the date of your birth so that it can be bet on at Roulette. Winnings will be divided evenly, so good luck!)
Monday, January 26, 2009
- Winner: Pittsburgh Steelers by 9 points, beating the 7 point spread.
- Score: 31-22
- Coin flip: Tails
- Leader at the half: Cardinals, by 3 points.
- First Touchdown Scored By: Cardinals
- First Wide Receiver To Catch A Pass: Larry Fitzgerald
- Super Bowl MVP: Larry Foote, Pittsburgh Steelers
Thanks to ESPN, you've heard her Jim Beam "The Girlfriend" commercial about a dozen times when you should have only just seen it a dozen times.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Michael Eve is also not this guy:
No. Michael Eve is the day before the birth of Michael (or MikeO if said quickly/cutely). It is a grand holiday that prepares you for the let down that is Michaelmas. It is a day in which the celebrated one works tirelessly helping consumers decide which Dynex memory card reader to buy only to be rewarded later with an endless bounty of Swedish Fish and Aquafina. Michael Eve is also shared with Alicia Keys Eve, as both are celebrated similarly (replace Swedish Fish and Aquafina with Sour Patch Kids and Vitamin Water).
Several celebreties were born on Michael Eve, including Mike Awesome, Yakov Smirnoff, Neil Diamond, John Belushi, Tatyana Ali (Ashley!), Tom Kostopoulus, and Scott Kazmir.
No gifts are prepared or wrapped. No coasters are used and no gyros are eaten.
Instead, those participating in the holiday may simply adhere to the following:
- Watch at least 10 minutes of any Back to the Future movie
- Browse some sports websites or tech-savy blogs
- Find out if that girl you like is working at Trader Joe's today
- Drink something of coldish consistency
Ichiro Selling Bugles
Bonus!: Totino's Pizza Rolls Commercial
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Loose Cannons is no more. Mychal Thompson was booted from the trio and there's still no word as to whether or not he'll still be covering Laker games at their new home, ESPN 710. Clear Channel is adding Chris Myers (of FOX Saturday Baseball) with Steve Hartman and Vic Jacobs and sending that show nationwide. This probably means the end of Vic "The Brick" Jacobs as I'm sure the entire country will not embrace "Feelin' You!" the way people in Los Angeles have.
Petros & Money still have their gig, but they too will be going nationwide and replace the spot formerly held by Andrew Siciliano and Krystal Fernandez. I'm happy for Petro because he's a good on-air personality and probably highlights the best show on KLAC right now, but he admits to favoring local broadcasting over national because he's all about So Cal. If you've heard him and Money fill in for Rome during the holidays, I'm sure it won't be too bad, but we will miss out on a lot more local stories and breaking news.
The worst part of all the changes, though, is the axing of Ben Maller (again). He hosted the nightly show here in Los Angeles when I was in high school, then got fired, then was rehired for the third shift on Fox some time after. Maller puts on a great show and can handle a good balance of local talk with national topics. He used to bring up things I'd heard earlier on Howard Stern so that was kind of cool. Plus he's probably the biggest Dodger fan on sports talk radio so you always got balanced opinions.
Thanks to SportsByBrooks for the news, for more click here.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Larry David, Car Salesman
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Remember when I blessed all of you with news of a Blossom DVD release date? My friend, thou art blessed twice more with news from a websiteth most fair.
First, Mr. Belvedere - Seasons 1 & 2, will be released on March 17th, 2009. Relive all of your favorite episodes with play-by-play episode commentary done by the legendary Bob Uecker. Who could forget episode 14, "The Contract". Kevin agrees to sign a contract stating that he will call George and Marsha if he drinks too much at his Junior prom and they promise not to be upset. He ends up getting wasted and is forced to confront the problem he attempted to mask with alcohol: his undying love for Mr. Belvedere. Fuck yeah!
And just when you thought you were done shopping, California Dreams - Seasons 1 & 2 will be released on March 24th, 2009, just one week after Mr. Belvedere's release. Are you kidding me? If you ever doubted the existence of Jesus, smote yourself. Smote anyone who gets in the way of you spending $44.99 on 31 classicly classic episodes (yes, it will be that much and yes, it will be worth it). From the friendships to the fights, the girls and the bullies, California Dreams is practically a documentary of what high school was like for all of us.
Don't wake me up...
Stuff White People Like is another Internet extravaganza I showed up late to. The title is self explanatory, and the author is fairly gifted when it comes to the funny business. I've been visiting the site every other day since rediscovering it and have come to learn that it is incredibly accurate.
On the list: Girls With Bangs, Mos Def, Black Music that Black People Don't Listen To Anymore, The Onion, Being Excessively Early For Events, Classes, Meetings, Work, Parties, Etc;. That's just a taste of all the things I was checking off.
One thing I didn't check off but can admit to hearing others mention was this: Being The Only White Person Around: (excerpt) "In most situations, white people are very comforted by seeing their own kind. However, when they are eating at a new ethnic restaurant or traveling to a foreign nation, nothing spoils their fun more than seeing another white person."
While there are some things I know are not limited to white people liking (Sweaters, Bumper Stickers, Music Piracy) and things I know that this white person does not like (Facebook, Pea Coats, Hummus), the site is well written and very informative for those of you non-Whites looking to get a further look into what drives the 'Caucs.
Sidenote: Can we get someone to update Stuff Mexican People Like?
This Short Story About A School Shooting Is Actually Pretty Good
Being a 10th-grade English teacher can be frustrating. I work hard to help my students improve their writing, but when it comes time to sit down and grade their assignments, I'm often left wondering why I bother. Once in a while, though, a student hands in something that is an absolute delight to read.
A student like Brian Petersen, who wrote an incredible short story about a deadly school shooting and how nobody picked up on all the warning signs until it was too late.
It's just fantastic!
Sure, I might expect something this good from one of my more advanced students, but Brian? He's so quiet and withdrawn. To be honest, I was surprised to see him show up for school at all, let alone write such a good story. I guess that'll teach me to underestimate a pupil just because he seems very secretive and completely alienated from the rest of his peers.
Still, what a superb piece of fiction!
Click here for the entire piece.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The El Duque
Lyle Overbay - Wedding / Game Time
Bonus!: Raymond vs. Wally
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The article regarding Scooter the talking baseball and his current whereabouts will not be published tonight (postponed until March). Instead, here's a take on a few things baseball related that have happened so far in the oh-nine.
- The MLB Network: Finally, a place where baseball analysts come together in a field replica studio somewhere in Seacaucus, New Jersey. Bob Costas led things off with an interview with Don Larsen and Yogi Berra, and surprisingly we havn't seen the Costas since. I expected he'd be in as many segments as possible considering his history and love for the game. Without him, we're treated to hourly hot stove updates featuring Al Leiter's pupil-less eyes, Tom Verducci's Danny Tanner smile, and Barry Larkin's neverending forehead. Ken Burns showed up in that weird haircut, but has blessed the network with the okay to air his specials from PBS. Everything was going great until they held batting practice in studio 42 with BJ Upton...
- JC Romero Suspended 50 Games: If you can forget about him being a stupid Phillie, you'll be just as outraged as the rest of us regarding this suspension. Apparently he wanted to use a supplement from GNC, made sure the supplement was approved by MLB, took the supplement, then was told by the MLB that they made a mistake about it being approved and said it was illegal. Oups! More about this story here.
- Travis Hafner Cleared To Begin Hitting Soon: Three words; look out Barry.
- Original Angels Rally Monkey Dies Of Heart Failure: Just kidding.
- Charlie Steiner Off Dodgers TV Broadcast: This story flew by pretty fast, but Steiner will only be doing the radio broadcast of Dodger games outside of the NL West division. His replacement has yet to be named, but the rumor from my sources (the internet) were pointing towards Jeanne Zelasko. She's already expressed interest in the job. She's also married to this guy:
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Forget 2009. 2010 will be the only real way to start a new. I'll need everyone's help in not doing anything of importance in 2009 and save it for just another 364 days. Try not to get married, win the lottery, or run in to Lamar Odom at Ralph's.
Stay away from trying new foods or listening to new music. Definitely don't visit any new places, make new friends, or have any surgeries.
Let's get this decade over with, together.