#MapleThief

The last 24 hours have been eventful. I threw up a large cup of coffee, my car battery died and left me stranded in BroVille (Fullerton, CA), my car alarm went bonkers, and today I was awarded with the joys of credit card fraud.

Some hoser, or hosette, was using my card number to buy gas from ExxonMobil, 76, and some place called Von's Fuel all located in Ontario Canada.

There's not much you can do about this kind of situation other than make a million phone calls and wait two months for everything to clear. Calling Wells Fargo to report this kind of fraud and cancel your card is a forty-five minute extravaganza filled with these kinds of questions and responses:

• Did you authorize any of these disputed charges?: What?- Authorize what? Did I authorize the charges I'm disputing? No, that's why I'm calling.
• Have you been to Canada recently?: No. I just made a purchase in Bellflower, CA.
• Have you been to Ontario recently?: No.
• Have you been to Ontario, California recently?: What? No.
• Have you ever given your card to someone else?: Never.
• Do you have your PIN number written on your card?: No.

At one point they ask if you've filed a police report which confused the hell out of me. They recommended I file a report but the police can't do anything if 1.) the charges won't go through for 3-5 days, 2.) the fraud happens outside the U.S., and 3.) your bank hasn't sent you that nineteen page claims form to fill out and process over two months. I didn't find all that out until Officer Joseph arrived to my apartment complex and chuckled at what I told him Wells Fargo told me to do.

As it stands now my debit card is dead and I'm using other methods of payment until this works itself out. Until then check your account daily, minimize online shopping, and don't visit Canada until those puck chucking syrup slugs repay my losses. Eh!