Apartment Life: Have A Seat

Yes, that's a chair sitting a top the trash heap behind our complex.

It makes sense that sharing an apartment building with a hundred other people would lead to something like this, but you never get used to it. Every week the garbage piles high above the dumpster brim as a lovely inviting odor floats around the parking structure.

I can't wait to see what's on top next week.

SPOILER: The Dark Knight Rises Ending

SPOILER ALERT!: Stop reading and looking at this post and move on right now if you have not seen The Dark Knight Rises. I take zero responsibility if you have not moved on to something else by now. Last chance.

Now, for those of you that have already seen it...

I can't be the only one who thought of this for at least a second during the final minutes of The Dark Knight Rises:

I know, the final minutes are intense and incredibly emotional but I'd be lying if I told you my mind didn't wander to the vision of that poster for a moment. 

Dodgers Trade For Hanley Ramirez

Dodgers recently acquired Hanley Ramirez from the Marlins. Let's get to know him:

• According to HanleyRamirez.com, his top 5 favorite actors are (in this order) Denzel Washington, Adam Sandler, Al Pacino, Damon Wayans, and Samuel L. Jackson.
• His favorite recording artist is Don Omar. Don Omar's most watched video on YouTube is for a song called Danza Kuduro. They're on a boat.
• His hometown of Samana in the Domican Republic is known as the epicenter for whale-watching tours.
• His likeness was used for a bobblehead in a Coca-Cola uniform.
• He offered chewing tobacco to a New Zealand cricket player and warned him not to swallow it.
• He dyed his hair orange in March but shhh, don't tell nobody:

Special Guest Blogger: Everyone's Favorite Star From 21 JumpStreet, Richard Grieco

Attention fellow bloggerinos, Booker is now on the loose! I know millions of you have been wondering what the ol' grieconator has been up to for the past 20 something years, well fear not my devoted followers, the original g-unit is here to give you the 411!

First of all the griec-dogg is in talks to get the movie studio to release "If Looks Could Kill" on Blu-Ray so be on the look out!

Okay so there is a minor setback to the whole blu-ray thing, it seems as though nobody at the studio knows who I am.

I've been in heated talks with FOX to do a remake of the TV smash "Booker" trying to get them into having it star me, seeing as how after all these years I'm still not allowed on the premises, it's prob about an 80/20 chance its a go.

Been on a mission to get Michael Bay to put me in the next "Transformers" movie as Shia's big bro, things are looking good, every time I run after, I mean into him he gives me a dollar and tells me not to waste it on booze, what a kidder.

Gonna be at the Laker season opener in a couple of months, yours truly got a job moping the wet spots on the floor, Kobe holla at cha boy!

I'll tell you what, that McDonalds dollar menu is a real godsend, a man can only eat so much top ramen.

If anyone sees that fat Deluise kid, tell him im still waiting on those 5 bucks I loaned him in '89.

That pretty much wraps it up for the Griecski and my guest bloggentary, in closing id just like to say, Hey Johnny pick up!

Funemployment Corner: Comic Con 2012

Another San Diego Comic con has come and gone. For those who have never been or refuse to go on Google, Comic-con is a week on the scenic shores of San Diego where over 200,000 nerds from all walks of life gather without fear of persecution or swirlies. The last eight years of the show have seen a 15% yearly growth of attendees and an influx of movie studios, TV networks and other things trying to get a piece of the mass media spotlight. Some years, these seemingly outside forces can take away from the celebration of the art that is comic books, but I found a lot to be excited over this year. So IEC is going to run down the top 5 announcements from comic con, after these 3 tips for anyone who remains on the fence about attending comic-con in the future.

 1. Just go, I know it goes against what I said before, but honestly the crowds will never get smaller and everyone should do it at least once.

2. It can actually be inexpensive. The amount of free stuff given at the con to fill the giveaway bag that can hold toddlers and medium sized animals is enough to make you look like you spent a small fortune. If you have a knack for preplanning you can even eat and drink for free at the various parties around the convention area. We had a blast hanging out with LA Times Hero Complex and crew.

3. Tickets too expensive? Volunteer. Honestly, you can save yourself about $200 on the ticket price by donating 2.5 hours of your comic con day to the show and if you do this right all the free giveaways come to you. (Check Comic-con.org site for more details)

Now on to the top 5 announcements from Comic-con 2012

5. Legendary Pictures makes bid to be #1 comic publisher: The studio behind movies like The Dark Knight threw a boulder in the comic book pond by teaming up with A-List talent like J.Michael Strazinsky, Mark Waid and Superman Earth One artist Shane Davis. Waid and Davis pair up to do a book called Shadow Walk, about a group of special-ops soldiers -- armed with the skull of John the Baptist and a piece of the True Cross -- searching for the real-life "shadow of death."

 4. Quienten Tarantino comes to DC Comics: Only comic legend Jim Lee has the clout to interrupt his own company's panel to bring the audience a special announcement that just couldn't wait. He introduced acclaimed film director Quienten Tarantino who took the stage, jittery mannerisms and all, to announce his new movie Django Unchained, would also be a comic book to be published by DC.

3. Marvel 2nd wave of movies: Riding off the comet dust of Avengers, Marvel packed hall H on saturday and gave the 3 year movie plan that will hopefully lead to Avengers 2 Electric Boogaloo. Though Warner Bros got people talking with the Man of Steel presentation, it just couldn't compare with the announcement of Captain America "The Winter Solider". (Typing that last sentence made me drool) Edgar Wright showing his Ant-Man test reel was just Boba in the tea. Also my favorite con moment happened here when Robert Downey Jr danced through the crowd as only Chaplin could.

2. Neil Gaiman returns to Sandman: With the upcoming 25th anniversary of the character coming up, it seemed like a no brainer that one of literature's most prolific writers gives the fans that one last story he always wanted to tell. When this news came out I'm sure goth kids around the world and Robert Smith of the Cure peed their pants. If you've never read Sandman, please stop cheating yourself and get it. Sandman is a great tale about what Death really thinks of us and is one of those books that comes off your shelf again and again when you're looking for entertainment.

 1.More Happy and the announcement of Oliver: Friday 24hrs before his big announcement, I had the distinct pleasure of sitting down with Darick Robertson to talk about his up coming book Happy from Image Comics. I was also treated to a tidbit of information about his friendship with Gary Whitta, writer of the film Book of Eli, in which he told me the two are now in production on a book they've been working on for the last nine years. Oliver, is a post apocalyptic steam punk styled take on the classic Oliver Twist. As Darick flipped through page after page for me on his iPhone, I couldn't help but realize this wasn't just another comic book, instead I was looking at a world being created like Halo or Lord of the Rings. Why is this number 1 in my view? Because I was already going to the Marvel movies and Gaiman's return to Sandman is awesome but not unexpected, the news of Oliver was the curve ball that struck me out looking.

There you have it now enjoy some Robert Downey Jr video and pictures

Apartment Life: Jeri Wilburn Don't Live Here No More

It feels good to live on your own. This July marks our one year anniversary of living Han Solo and the thing I'm most proud of is that we landed the place without needing the help of a friend or family member. We scoured newspapers, checked online, and asked around vaguely until the PennySaver led us to our utopia. We put in work, checked out a bunch of dumps, drove through a few cities, and after about a two month process it all paid off.

There's a whole lot of advantages to living here. We both work within five miles of where we live so for an entire year we've saved loads of money on gas. A lot of favorite restaurants are closer and we get our own parking spaces that are safely locked up in the back. There's a pool here that we never use and a post office, grocery store, community college, and freeway entrance all within a few blocks.

But what kind of American would I be if I didn't use this blog to complain about all of the little things that continue to upset, confuse, and frustrate us on a daily basis? In this "Apartment Life" series, I'll shed light on what you should expect to annoy you when leaving the nest. This week our topic is mail.

Mail. Expect to receive someone else's mail from the day you move in until the day you move out. The first week we got here I went to the post office to try and prevent getting mail addressed to the Wilburn family. Filled out the right forms and asked all the right questions to make sure I don't get invitations to the next African-American AARP meeting in Long Beach. But here we are, a year later, and I got my second subscription notice for Essence magazine. I appreciate the fact that they're trying to save me $53.82 but enough is enough.

The simple act of taking mail that's not yours and throwing it away becomes tedious in no time. Most, if not all of my mail is sent to my new address because I did the right thing and changed it the official way. The process is painless. I'm sending this request out ATTN to Jeri Wilburn and the Wilburn family: change your address and save the rain forest.

Fluffy Towel Smell?

I didn't know fluffy towels had a smell until the Yankee Candle company told me so.  -Mobile Blogging live from JCPenny.

The Great Tamale Incident

The Dodgers committed five errors today. Speaking of errors, here's something I just learned about and it should be able to distract you from today's embarrassing loss:

From chron.com: SAN ANTONIO — It was called the "Great Tamales Incident" because President Gerald Ford committed a no-no by picking up a plate of tamales during an April 1976 visit to the Alamo and started to bite into one still shuck-wrapped. Then-Mayor Lila Cockrell, who was at the brief tour of the Alamo, said most people gulped when they saw Ford eating one of the tamales with the husk. "I think he just picked up the plate because if someone had given him the plate, the tamales would not have had the shucks," Cockrell said. "The president didn't know any better. It was obvious he didn't get a briefing on the eating of tamales."

The Only Comic-Con Update That Matters

From Deadline.com: The former California governor said during Lionsgate‘s panel for the action pic The Expendables 2 today at Comic-Con that he will make a sequel to the 1988 movie Twins in which he co-starred with Danny DeVito. He is reteaming with that movie’s original director Ivan Reitman too, Schwarzenegger said, the project is in development and they are looking for a writer.


Here's the direct link in case you think I made this up.

Live Mega Doppler 7000 Reports 80% Chance Of Complaining

Recap of Friday, July 13th, 2012:

• I spent 9 hours at work today. Six of those nine hours were spent entertaining comments and complaints from window shoppers who took advantage of our free air conditioning and explained that it was hot and humid.
• I ate America's Best Tri-Tip Sandwich at Wood Ranch today and yes, it is the best tri-tip sandwich in America.
• I found this video online entitled "Oy It's So Humid" by 2 Live Jews:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at8hZpXyykM .
• I caught up on everything Dee Gordon related: his twitter feed, his Facebook page, and his injury status ("Hey #DodgerFam just want to let you all know my surgery went great and I'm hoping for a speedy recovery!!"). He will be out 6 weeks.
• I learned that this year's 2012 MLB All-Star Game received the lowest ratings of all time.
• I smelled a whole lot of marijuana smoke while driving down my street (It's Friday!).
• I chose the picture below to end this recap:

Forever Singing Bill Nye's Theme Song

This is asking a lot, but if you have fifteen minutes to spare you should watch this video by Michael Shermer, a contributor to skeptic.com. I saw it a few years ago and revisited it recently after watching a ton of Syfy's Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files episodes with the Mrs.

Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUB4j0n2UDU

Best Sleeper Hit Video On The Internet?

Don't judge me.

I'd like to prepare all of you for the possibility of more frequent updates. They'll match the short attention span themes (picture, video, paragraph) you've come to love about Internets in 2012. Enjoy!

Shot through the heart and you're to blame, I give blogs a bad name

The last time I was here the best buy CEO thought it was a good idea to fuck secretaries and use company money on viagra, lube and ball gags, while the best buy founder thought it was an even better idea not to tell anyone. Yet somehow the geniuses steering the best buy ship better known as the dicktanic, decided it was an even better idea to pay millions of dollars to part ways with someone who was already out the door. That's like being thrown out of someone's house for fucking the babysitter and then when you're halfway down the street, the owner of the house gives you 1000 dollars and tells you they never want to see you again. 


Now that Ive gotten that out of the way on to more pressing issues, mainly everything besides work.


-First off, it was absolutely amazing to have the kings win the stanley cup, for me though, I don't think anything is going to top the 88 dodgers, although the XFL's L.A. xtreme came close.


-The Miami heat won an NBA title, I guess dreams really don't come true.


-Carl's jr gave out free burgers to anyone who dressed like spiderman on July 4th, coincidentally I was giving out free facials to ladies who dressed up as catholic school girls on that day as well.


-I know I told Mike I would do a weekly thing on here based on baseball cards, but after further consideration I realized that was way too much work on my end for this blog, sorry Mike.


-Miller lite created a beer can that allows you to puncture the top for a better pour? increase the beer to air ratio in the can? I think miller's top priority should be to create a beer that doesn't taste like miller lite.


-My attempt to update the blog and bring back the funny is like Matt Kemp at the HR derby, straight weak sauce son! I'll do better next time


-Lozano 

FFZ - Freelancer Fun Zone

Let’s start with a new thing. The name of this column is on longer Unemployment Fun Zone. We have now made the switch to Freelancer Fun Zone. Now all our events will be 15% less fun, however you will still get the best in free and cheap entertainment southern California has to offer. Including at the end of this column, five ways to get into E3.

After a one-year hiatus, yours truly was back in the saddle last week hobnobbing with celebrities and getting pushed around by foreign media just like it always was. E3 itself felt like a rebuilding year for the New York Yankees, there is still some talent there but nowhere near World Series level, in fact it seems as though 2012 will be a stale year for gaming.

For the remainder of 2012, Playstation and Xbox will most likely be relying on Black Ops 2 for driving sales, while Nintendo Wii U will try to capture the magic the Wii had at launch. Yes there is a Halo on the way but in all honesty it doesn’t feel fresh just updated.

Look ahead at 2013, Gears of War and Bioshock both have new games, Playstation will try to copy Nintendo’s Smash Bros with Playstation All Stars Battle Royal.

Only three games at the entire show caught my attention, Ubisoft’s Watch Dog looks bold. Finally, a game where machines talk to me and I can talk right back, seems as if it was right out of a science fiction story.  Though not being a fighting game fan, Injustice from the makers of Mortal Kombat caught me like a Liu Kang fireball.  The game has an instant appeal to comic fans, during the demo I caught a glimpse of Superman tossing Flash into the atmosphere and spiking him back down to the pavement. Injustice definitely earns a penned in spot on my want list. Best of show went to Naughty Dog studio’s The Last Of Us. A post apocalyptic thrill ride combining intense action with very good character driven story telling = innovation.

Ok now that the show is over you might be asking, how do I get into one of these industry only shows?

There are many different ways to get in that won’t get you arrested or ripped off by craigslist:

1)   Work for the industry in any capacity, while retail attendees are being denied there are still hundreds of positions that qualify, even career college students can go.

2)   Xbox live has contest for guest passes to the show, see Xbox live for details next year

3)   Most of the people at the booths do not work for the companies directly. Models, brand ambassadors, and people willing to dress up in costumes are hired weeks before the show every year, check casting sites and craigslist.

4)   Start a media channel in a blog and you tube, there were so many media badges with names I’ve never heard of it made me nauseous. One group of foreigners was filming an interview with an Iphone.

5)   Goes with number 1, freelance in any capacity for the companies and make friends. These companies have hundreds of guest passes for people they work with throughout the year.

There it is E32012 in five minutes. Next year, I’ll be getting an additional twenty people into the show be sure to tune into the blog for details. 

- David

Sweet Sassy Molassy

We live in an age where everything on the Internet is abbreviated. There are memes, blogs, tumblrs, tweets, instagrams, e-cards, and graphs. In an effort to make your attention span shorter than my own I present to you (click to expand):