Forgive Us

My place of work is seconds from Orange County so from time to time I'll come in contact with other Caucasians who remind me why I don't live in that county. Today I was subjected to an extreme amount of "Bro"s which forced me to come home and post a classic piece from The Onion, circa 2007. Enjoy:

Bro, You're A God Among Bros
By Zach Caldwell

You know you're one of my top bros, bro, because you got my back. And I got yours. You're my bro. But you went above and beyond the other night, bromaldehyde. You really did. Saving me that seat at the Velvet Revolver show, even though all those other bros were trying to get up front, bro? So clutch.

You are truly a god among bros.

Just when I think you're as solid as a bro can get, you raise the very definition of brodom to new heights. You're like a brogle, soaring to the farthest reaches of the atbrosphere. Seriously. If it weren't for you and your extreme brobility to hook a bro up when it is most croosh, I'd have been stuck in some bitch-ass seat, cramped all in the corner with a bunch of bitch-asses, bro. But you stepped up. You brovercame all obstacles to help a bro out. This is the kind of shit that makes bros for life.

Brody, I was so stoked when you told Gina to go eat a fat one after she asked if she could have your other ticket, even though you knew you could probably get a pretty deese HJ from her. Bros before hos, bro. That's what I'm talking about.

You are the king of all bros. Brotankhamen. You are the Ayatollah Bromeini. You are Broseidon, lord of the brocean.

Stuff White People Like

I figure it's a good thing to be late on anything Internet-mania related. It gives you ample time to sort through what's good (Chocolate Rain, I like turtles) and what's bad (Use of the word "fail", "epic", or the very douchey "epic fail"). If you're one of the first hundred people to find out about that talking cats video on YouTube, you are not someone I'd like to know.

Stuff White People Like is another Internet extravaganza I showed up late to. The title is self explanatory, and the author is fairly gifted when it comes to the funny business. I've been visiting the site every other day since rediscovering it and have come to learn that it is incredibly accurate.

On the list: Girls With Bangs, Mos Def, Black Music that Black People Don't Listen To Anymore, The Onion, Being Excessively Early For Events, Classes, Meetings, Work, Parties, Etc;. That's just a taste of all the things I was checking off.

One thing I didn't check off but can admit to hearing others mention was this: Being The Only White Person Around: (excerpt) "In most situations, white people are very comforted by seeing their own kind. However, when they are eating at a new ethnic restaurant or traveling to a foreign nation, nothing spoils their fun more than seeing another white person."

While there are some things I know are not limited to white people liking (Sweaters, Bumper Stickers, Music Piracy) and things I know that this white person does not like (Facebook, Pea Coats, Hummus), the site is well written and very informative for those of you non-Whites looking to get a further look into what drives the 'Caucs.

Sidenote: Can we get someone to update Stuff Mexican People Like?