Food Trucked

Years of being ignored by customers seeking decent, edible meals has led the Sizz' to bring their crappy sliders and mozzarella sticks to your neighborhood parking lot.

In case you missed it, Sizzler and Jack In The Box are the first of the fast food giants to hop on the food truck trend.

Nobody is going to follow either of those trucks on twitter. There's no fun in tracking down a truck that serves food you can usually find within a five mile radius. Jack's stuffed jalapenos are amazing but I can get them any time. Nom Nom and Grill 'Em All are specialties, they offer variety, innovation, and most of all something that tastes better than most things on the menu at either of those generic mobile restaurants.

Not all food trucks are honest or exquisite. For every Frysmith there's a local truck that lost their hot spot to a bunch of twenty-somethings who bought some neon paint and drew a cute logo. The worst food trucks are the ones that added a mandarin orange to a pork taco and charge $8 for the foreign flavor.

But really, most of the trucks I've tried have been reasonably priced and offer comfort food from all cultures. Tracking the best ones down is all part of the fun. Word of mouth and social media bring excitement to your gluttonous journey, something you won't get from a Sizzler on wheels.

Sale On Chorizo

This little fella is on sale during the Brewers playoff run for only $12.97. If they make it to the World Series and win I promise to buy it for one lucky IEC reader or contributor. Details to come later.

Free Tires (Maybe)

Snapped this pic yesterday where the 605 meets the 91. There's nothing holding those tires in other than the four poles on each corner and at the top.

That Wasn't Sugar

I found this gem of a story via LAWeekly.com:

Parents, try to keep your babies away from your coke stash. Even though that's a fairly commonsense guideline, a mom and dad (along with mommy's bro) were arrested in Atascadero north of L.A. this week after their 18-month-old went Lohan on their cocaine, at least according to what local cops alleged to the Weekly. Paramedics were called, and seeing as all is not right with the world when a year-and-half-old baby boy has to be treated for yay-yo ingestion, decided it might be prudent to let their police friends in on the fun.

Amazing. In addition to not leaving coke out for baby Huey to digest, here's a few more things the parents of 2011 need to get right:

• Stop bringing junior to the movies. You gave up the right to have a good time at the cineplex when you made that extra DNA.
• Retail locations and malls are not day cares. It's not okay for you to let your youngin' park in front of a television while you pick out a mouse pad.
  
• If you don't look where you're going with that stroller I'm going to make sure that your infant experiences what an amateur UFC fight feels like as we both tumble to the ground, limbs flailing.
  
• We once saw a baby crawling into the street in Norwalk, CA. I havn't seen this happen since then so keep doing that whole thing where you watch your child at all times. It's working.

October is here and I'm setting a goal of at least one blog per day for the entire month. This time it's quantity over quality to keep me in line so stay tuned...

The Race Is On

Oh, Sausagegate. The year was 2003 and I was watching Conan the night Randall Simon of the Pirates slammed his bat on the Italian Sausage (see video above). He played the clip a few times noting that the other two sausages briefly stop to look back and then continue on to finish the race. I couldn't stop laughing then and I still find it incredibly funny eight years later. She was okay, obviously, and didn't suffer any permanent damage.

The 2011 MLB Playoffs started tonight and although I won't be able to watch any game in its entirety I'll be following it closely on my phone. I think a Brewers/Rays World Series would be entertaining, but I have no vested interest in any single team winning it all. If anything jumps out at me during the playoffs you'll see it here, otherwise let's have a great October and go Dodgers.

Don't Stop Blogievin'

I'd like to dedicate this to Michael "Journey" [edited bleep], the buyback king of Cerritos .Sorry for the lack of updates but I've been busy carrying out tv's and doing cart runs. There isn't a general topic I'd like to focus on this week so I'm just going to blurt out a bunch of random crap that's chapping my ass.

I hate it when I'm driving and the dumbshit in the lane next to you assumes you have to let them merge just because they're using the turn signal. Ive got somewhere I need to be as well dipshit, back of the line.

Why do people in SUV's and big ass trucks feel the need to drive over speed bumps like a bunch of bitches. You just paid 50,000 for that thing I'm sure it's equipped with a proper suspension. For the love of christ, stop driving over those things like you're sitting on a big black dildo.

I wish stupid hipster "guys" would stop wearing skinny jeans and toms. Have some god damn self respect and stop wearing leggings and flats like some stupid indie bitch and man up.

Fuck snap back caps. I can't stand seeing a bunch of punks who have never played or pay any attention to sports wearing a L.A. Kings cap because they think the colors look fresh.

And finally, People need to stop denying the homeless spare change because they feel the homeless are just going to use it to buy alcohol. Really? What the fuck are the supposed to spent it on? An escalade? A day at the spa? Of course its going to be spent on alcohol, they live in the street and poo behind dumpsters. Anyone who says it should be spent on food is full of shit. Theres nobody on this universe that wants to walk into a carl's jr and have homeless bob, who smells like someone shit in a dumpster and set it on fire, in front of them, and you sure as shit don't want him at the table next to you eyeballing your milkshake. Instead the homeless decide to dig through trash cans for food because even they're smart enough to know that its a lot easier to find chicken nuggets in the trash than it is to find a bottle of vodka or some crack. Maybe next time a homeless person decides to ask you for change you'll get off your moral high horse and give it to them for having to decency to not eat around you and get a 32 oz king cobra instead.

That's all for now, remember kids start saving up those pennies for black friday.

-Lozano out

CODE ONE: A Brief Look At Retail

[Editor's Note: Welcome Veronica, a brand new IEC guest blogger and my partner in crime (that's the cutesy way of saying we're in a relationship). Below is her first article about working in retail. Enjoy!]

CODE ONE

For those of you who have never had a job in retail, consider yourself lucky. The few of you that have or are currently putting yourselves through the stress and pain let’s talk about what our work week looks like.

Customers: Most of them are nice and courteous until they don’t get their way. I once helped a lady who made me price match Vitamin Water. I understand times are tough but I seriously gave her twenty or thirty cents back. It was ridiculous! The second person I helped was pretty recent, this woman was angry that she was at the store so late at night. It was almost an hour after closing and she’s pissed off at me and telling me to hurry because she has to be somewhere. This comment blew my mind since I have a home I wanted to get to but couldn’t since this dumb slut wants to buy something really expensive five minutes before we close. There’s a process you stupid cow! There are far too many stories like these or worse from some of my co-workers.

Policy: From day one we are taught to follow the rules and the policy. The policy is there for a reason, or so I’m told. I am aware of the few times that we are able to make exceptions but some things I’ve seen are beyond questionable. We have a thirty day return policy that we have to follow so I’m not sure how a woman who bought a product five months ago is able to return it for cash. Even after speaking to my direct manager she went to the general manager. It was his decision to make this exception. This same guy also had me exchange a handheld game system that wasn’t even purchased at our store. This was surreal to me. If I would’ve known that the policy was more or less like an outline then I could have saved myself from a few headaches.

Hours: Lately the hours for the store are pretty bad. Less money in the budget mean less people on the sales floor or gaps between coverage which translates to unhappy customers. So they leave. We can’t hit budget if no one is there to buy. Besides this whole mess no one tells us if our schedule is changed. There is or was a rule somewhere they have to tell us twenty-four hours before a shift change. This almost never happens. Hours get cut or shifts completely taken off and there’s not a single word. To top it all off the website we have to check our hours is currently down, and has been for the past two weeks or so. You’ve really got to love technology.

Even if you were to ignore everything I’ve just said you would still have to worry about high school. What I mean is that some people will never mature or just grow up and respect others. As if all that wasn’t enough, you have to deal with fellow employees who treat the work place like a playground. Unnecessary drama complicates the work space and makes surviving a retail day more difficult than it should be. I’ll have to dedicate another entry to work place drama so I’ll see you all next time and wish you good luck in retail wonderland.

- Vero

Hulu Plus Review

Twenty-four hours into my Hulu Plus experience and I've got some thoughts about this $7.99 service.

Having every season of Saturday Night Live at the click of a button is priceless and worth the fee all by itself. I've already skipped around to some of my favorite episodes and sketches including the Garth Brooks episode where Will Ferrell plays the devil (Fred's Slacks is a winner!). I've already added a whole list of other seasons to the que which makes my old VHS recordings obsolete. Keep in mind that Hulu is a joint venture of FOX, NBC, and ABC so for Hulu to make sense for anyone you'll have to be a dedicated fan of at least one show from one of those networks and not own a DVR. I don't have cable or a DVR so being able to watch The Office, Parks & Recreation, Community, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and Saturday Night Live at my leisure is convenient times a thousand. I've yet to explore the full length movie options so I guess this isn't a complete review of Hulu Plus but I noticed that the first twelve features in Most Popular Movies included only one title that I recognized: Super Size Me.

There are only two complaints I have thus far: commercials and content overlapping. Commercials for a paid service will take some getting used to thanks to Netflix. And speaking of the big N, a lot of people want to know if Hulu Plus is worth it if you already have Netflix. It all depends on what you watch or how much you're spending now. Spending $16 on both paid services is still only 25% of what I used to pay for DirecTV without HD or a DVR. That said, if you've had Netflix for over a year then you may have already watched some of your favorite TV shows which is a drag. Netflix has Parks & Recreation through season 2 and Hulu has all seasons and the new episodes. Netflix has every season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and X-Files, but so does Hulu. Content overlapping won't justify spending $8 so if you're not dedicated to any new show from those big three networks then you should skip Hulu Plus for now. Also, when I tried to watch The Simpsons via Hulu on XBOX I was pissed. Not only does it have an "Online Only" disclaimer but the disclaimer is even more misleading because when you go online they don't have all the seasons uploaded like you would expect.

Kinks aside, I love Hulu Plus. There are so many hours of new programming that I can't miss and old favorites that I want to revisit. I'd recommend it to anyone who lives cable-free and has a remote interest in any new television show from those three networks.

The Top 7 Things I've Learned About Apartment Life

We're back. Sort of. Maybe.

Look, we all know how this works. Going on extended hiatus is a tradition here at Infinite Et Cetera and it's one that we intend to continue throughout the years. Loyal IEC observer Mario inspired (threatened) me to update this place with some new content so for the next 500 words I'll offer the top 5 things I've learned about apartment life over the past two months.

1. People are Loud & Obnoxious: Open your windows and doors to let that summer breeze in and be treated to the sounds of a mother yelling at her children because she doesn't have the corn dogs they've been begging for. They eventually decided on pizza, but the worse part about living in an apartment complex is being so closely packed in with people who can't speak at a normal decibel level. Every cell phone conversation is held just outside of each tenant's door for that extra signal bar. God help you if there's a pool on the premises when school's not in session.
2. Avoiding Small Talk Is A Challenge: Coming face to face with the people mentioned above can be a tricky thing. You don't want to be a dick but most of these people use the complex as a public forum for their private life and frankly you've heard enough. In short: you need to keep your cell phone handy and hope you got mail. Nothing beats a fake cell phone conversation about a car repair or surprise BBQ for your cousin. Be careful though because you'll need to switch it up if people get wise to you. I've found that shuffling through the PennySaver as you walk towards your apartment gives the impression that you're occupied and can get by with a simple "Hey" or "How are you".
3. Everyone Has A Learner's Permit: There are two white lines that help guide you into each parking space. These lines do not represent a suggestion. They are painted evenly for each car and each car is meant to fit within each set of lines. When you sign the renter's agreement you are signing for parking space number 1, not number 1 and a half. Get your shit together.
4. Poorly Installed Car Alarms Are The Devil: If you drive down our street and go above 30mph, you will set off car alarms. If you sneeze without warning or drop a fork on the floor, you will set off car alarms. If a bird chirps, you inhale, or a strand of grass sprouts from the ground, you will set off car alarms on our block.
5. Carrying Groceries Up A Flight Of Stairs Hurts My Back: It really does.
6. Hazard Light Abuse: When we were moving in we tried our best to do it discreetly. At non-peek hours of a weekday we brought in a couch, bed, table, and some cabinets. Little by little, box by box, we brought in all our stuff without trying to inconvenience anyone for too long. Sure, we parked in front of the complex with our hazards on for up to maybe 10 or 15 minutes. But we were moving in. I understand that when you live on a street with multiple complexes that this may occur more often than usual but we need to draw the line some place. People moving in, you are allowed to hazard it up for a reasonable amount of time. People picking up your kids, bringing in groceries, chatting it up with your drug dealer, or waiting for a friend do not have my blessing.
7. Beware of Landlords: In our search for shelter we met some great characters along the way but none ended up being as scatterbrained as our current landlady, Sandra. Sandra seemed overly nice at first, comforting us with her promises of no bugs and not allowing loitering on the front lawn. While she means well most of the time she is incredibly inconsistent and forgetful. Someone spray painted the front of the complex and she removed it within hours, but when I reminded her that our sink was leaking and made an appointment for the repairmen to come over she spaced out and lied about not having her phone to receive my inquiries. She can be the cheerful grandmother or the meth addict waiting for her next fix, it really is a toss up.

Moving, Sooner Than Later

It's happening pretty quickly, but we just put a $500 deposit down on an apartment and on July 1st it will officially be ours. The next two or three weeks will be hectic and I'm unsure if we'll have the internet so it might be some time before you see an update here. As of now I'm currently writing and posting this from my phone.

When I do get the internet expect a fairly thorough blog about helpful tips when looking for an apartment. Things like having credit, $500, and a savings account will go a long way. Also, we didn't jump the gun when looking around and were treated to numerous shitholes. Seeing bugs, moving and completely alive bugs in a bathtub, is a definite sign to keep looking. Anyways, more on that experience another day.

I'm working over the next 5 days, then I go back to Del Mar for another meeting, then we get the place officially on the 1st. Until next time this is your IEC host signing off.

- Mike O.

Turn-back Tuesday: Weird Al, His New Single, and Why I'm 5 Years Behind

[Note: Turn-back Tuesday has nothing to do with the failed and seldom updated postings previously known as Memory Lane Monday. That feature was horrible and this one is at least six times better.]

Coolio is an asshole. Years ago I was listening to Love Line and a caller asked him why he was upset about Weird Al's parody of Gangsta's Paradise. The caller asked why Weird Al had to get Coolio's permission and not Stevie Wonder's since Wonder owned the rights to the original Pastime Paradise which Coolio sampled. Coolio exploded. I can't remember any exact quotes but it went something like "I don't want to go there or get into that, next caller yo".

It wasn't until 2006 (five years ago) that the mighty C embraced the song and hugged it out with Al at the Consumer Electronics show. That picture (courtesy of rosiedemario.blogspot.com) just made my day. Shame on all of you for not letting me know this happened and for making me waste five extra years hating the dread-locked wonder.

All of this came about because Weird Al was trending on Yahoo! and Twitter. Worried, I hopped over to his Wikipedia to make sure everything was alright. That led to me finding the picture above as well as a link to his new Lady Gaga parody video, Perform This Way.

There's not much to say that you don't already know about Weird Al's music. He's the best at what he does and at 51 he still makes it look easy. The truth about parodies is that for every Naked Gun there's Scary Movie, for every Spaceballs there's Vampires Suck. Clever funny vs. stupid, mundane funny. Yankovic works hard at his craft so that something as silly as Fat and Smells Like Nirvana are as memorable as they are. Daniel (IEC Contributor) pointed out to me years ago that Don McLean, famous for his song American Pie, came close to singing Weird Al's Star Wars themed parody (The Saga Begins) at live shows because he was so happy with Al's work and his kids played the song nonstop. Al's ability to keep musicians humble and not take themselves so seriously will be his legacy once everything is said and done. My favorite line from Perform This Way is when he reveals, from Gaga's perspective, "No reason I should regret / All the attention I get / I'm not completely crazy / I perform this way". And while the entire song and video doesn't have the same replay value for me as White & Nerdy or Gangsta's Paradise, it provides a great laugh throughout and that's all that matters. You listen to Weird Al expecting to laugh and he still makes it happen 28 years after his first studio album.

UFZ: He's the Got No Green Lantern

Hype, it's the single greatest force in the universe, even more so than the willpower of Green Lantern Hal Jordan. Hype has the power to crush dreams or make days, it can pick us up when there's nothing left to look forward to or it can kick us in the metaphorical testicles.

For months this movie was built up as Star Wars for a new generation, I hate that statement. Star Wars is Star Wars, it has it's own place ( no where near and dear to my heart mind you). Green Lantern is an awesome story, rich in it's own mythology and at it's core all good Green Lantern stories are about overcoming fear and that's something we can all relate to. There's more than enough good material to tell a Green Lantern story and get people hooked without comparing it to anything.

Everyone that said this movie looks terrible can bite me, it's certainly not a revolutionary look but the look being translated to the big screen certainly was uncanny. The look of the movie is not an issue. Ryan Reynolds was great as Hal Jordan and that's who he's suppose to be the entire time. Green Lantern doesn't take on a different persona like Christian Bale in the bat suit nor should he. The breakaway performance was Mark Strong as Sinestro, he nailed the dictator like composure of the character.

The adapted for mass audience story in Green Lantern never really hits that emotional connection that the comics have. While it's probably not the worst story that could have been told on screen, you can tell this movie was not made for a comic audience, it's meant more to be a family adventure. I doubt DC will get any new readers based on this movie.

I would have liked to have seen Sinestro begin to make his transition to Hal Jordan's nemesis and possibly introduce the idea of the yellow lanterns. If there is another movie, I opt to replace director Martin Campbell, "Quantum of Solace" was a piece of crap but I gave him the benefit to the doubt. I wish he would stick to making independent films about gay cowboys eating pudding. He just seemed to not pick the right moments in this movie, I could draw better angles than he picked for some shots.

So far my favorite of the summer movies is X-Men, I have high hopes for Horrible Bosses. Green Lantern is a good movie but it's just not the emotionally gripping books brought to life. Warner Bros, DC comics and Green Lantern scribe Geoff Johns (who we all trusted because there are very few better writers in comics, I can only think of one) promised the world something epic and hopefully next time they'll realize you don't have to make something for everyone to be a success coughdarkknightcough.

I enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed Super 8, so 3 out of 5.

now to go see the angry lemons

- David N.

X-Men: First Class Review

Kick-Ass is one of my favorite superhero movies of all time and up until about ten minutes ago I didn't know that the same director, Matthew Vaughn, also did X-Men: First Class.

Makes sense. Much like Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class moves along quickly and makes 131 minutes feel more like 90. Most of the story takes place in 1960s New York where Professor X and Magneto start off as friends who take on Sebastian Shaw, a powerful mutant determined to start World War III. Both realizing they can't fight him and his cohorts alone, they begin recruiting other mutants that eventually help make up the first class. A few training montages later they all take on Shaw and as time progresses Professor X and Magneto grow further and further apart. Michael Fassbender steals the show as he nails every moment of Magneto's transformation from face to heel and is the reason why so many of us can't wait to see how the series develops. Like many tragic figures, we don't excuse his evil bidding because of his past but we can understand the choices he makes. Other than the outstanding villains and brisk pace of the plot, the movie is supported by a great cast, musical score, and well rounded production. Anybody familiar with X-Men will have a thoroughly good time watching this movie.

That said, there are a few things holding it back from what I'd consider to be a cinematic masterpiece like The Dark Knight. There are more than a few out of place one-liners about being different, especially in the early exchanges with Raven and Charles. Also, there are way too many of those cliche "be yourself" moments between Beast and Mystique that just get tired. By far the worst scene comes midway through the movie when the entire group of new recruits is having a coming-of-age like celebration, all showcasing their unique abilities in after-school like fashion. (We're all different! Wait a minute- We're all the same, because we're all different! OMG LOLZ LETS PARTY!!@!). I hated that scene.

My girlfriend's brother-in-law had a complaint, he said something about Havok not being around before Cyclops or something nerdy like that. It doesn't really matter because the movie is good and stands on its own. Most superhero movies will never be completely consistent with the comic book and few people are going to notice little things like that. I'm hardly the authority so if you know what inconsistency Marvin was talking about please post it (if worthy of posting) in the comments section.

Overall Rating: See it. B+ (It was a borderline A- but I just can't get over much of the tired teen talk.)

- Mike O.

Special Guest Blogger Scottie Pippen

Long overdue, the truth according to Scottie Pippen:

- Alonzo Mourning was a better all-around player than Kareem

- RC Cola is superior to Coca-Cola

- George Clooney was the best Batman

- Madonna couldn't hold Lady Gaga's junk

- "Mobsters" was just a way better movie than "Goodfellas"

- Aqua Man would not be a phenomenal water polo player

- Something said in Spanish is inherently not funnier than something said in English

- "Ernest Goes to Jail" was more realistic than "Ernest Goes to Camp"

-Snooki's book is a better read than "Othello"

- Chex is inferior to Crispy Hexagons

- Some day the number of Hot dogs you can buy will be equal to the number of hot dog buns available for purchase

- David N.

Future Freeway Debris

Please excuse my use of a cell phone while driving. It took less than three seconds to snap that picture of an unfastened couch hanging out the back of a pick-up truck cruising at 80 miles an hour down the 710. Can't wait to find a sofa cushion stuck under my left axle.

UFZ: Super 8 - Neither a Hotel Chain Nor a Type of Film Endorsed by Bill Cosby

Have you ever had a dream that made you not want to sleep, because of the possibility of reliving it?

This was the feeling I had before tonights preview screening of J.J Abrams newest film "Super 8". See I hated his previous original film "Cloverfield", almost as much as I hate Best Buy; both only seem to serve the purpose of wasting two hours of your life and giving you motion sickness. I'm sure I was the least excited person in line to see this new movie, in a way it makes me the perfect person to review it for you and help decide if it's worth your hard earned $11.

Just a word of warning, while I will try not to include spoilers, I can't review this movie without giving away some plot; but don't worry the good stuff will all be new to you.

To put people in the seats, Super 8 sells it self as a monster/ suspense movie along the lines of the classic Jaws franchise. Thankfully, there are several good character developing layers to this movie that make it soo much more than just another monster flick. After being witness to a train hijacking, a group of kids trying to make a film to enter in their local film festival are caught in the middle of an intriguing mystery. Sounds simple enough right? It is, but from the opening credit, this movie gives you several questions to answer outside of the monster and how they all tie in together is very intelligent writing. The kids are very compelling characters, and instead of that being a slave to the monster theme, the monster angle only serves to make the other characters the focus of the movie. I love good character driven story telling and this movie was full of it.

Visually the movie did leave something to be desired. While you do see the monster clearly in this movie, you never really get that one epic feeling shot of it. In fact the full reveal of the monster left something to be desired. The train sequence was the awe inspiring sequence of the movie and it did not show the monster once.

Also don't get attached to any black characters you see in the film, they all get killed right after you meet them. You would think this would be a spoiler but trust me, the way these deaths happen, you can't be prepared for them even if I gave you the exact times. J.J Abrams apparently hates black people. That's one of the things I didn't understand. The other is why the kids listen to the fattest one instead of giving him to the monster.

Simply to sum it up, the government pumps E.T full of aids and steroids, slaps him around a bit and you have the monster from Super 8. No one hated E.T and you don't hate this monster.

Because I think Cloverfield was the biggest piece of crap ever made, I really wanted to hate this movie. I don't, I bought into this as just another popcorn flick and was treated to a very enthralling story. While I won't buy this movie and watch it over and over, it is a great one time see. That is really the movies only downfall, after the mystery is gone, there isn't much to keep you coming back to it.

I give this a 3 out of 5.

If you see one movie this weekend, make it X-men: First Class. If you see two movies this weekend see Super 8.

- David N.

UFZ: Road to Comic Con

I should be a hundred times more excited but I'm not. San Diego Comic Con is six weeks away, it's almost time for street re-routing traffic, people who for some reason feel that the need for daily bathing should be put on hold for 4 days, and 3 hour lines to catch a glimpse of Angelina Jolie or other celebrities that have no business being there. That very reason is why I've decided this will be my last SDCC (even if I ever become a pro).

When I was twelve years old , I hitched a ride to my first comic con with my older cousins and some not so savory characters. In those days this show was only about comic books, you didn't have to buy tickets a year in advance and the only fat girls in softball uniforms played for San Diego state. It was back then, comic book companies had the biggest booths and I could see videos of upcoming events set to "For whom the bell tolls." Good free stuff would flow like chocolate from a fountain, and exclusive toys were available to everyone. Professional artist use to love being at the one place where everyone knew who they were and were treated like celebrities. These guys and gals use to drop vacation plans just to be there, today they are just as annoyed as us comic fans. I found out today, one of my favorite artist wasn't going to be there, that was the last straw for yours truly. Yes San Diego once was about comic books, seeing as it will never be that way again it's time to find new shows, however in my sarcastic generosity, I've decided to prepare anyone thinking about going for the first time or people that often go and never learn. My experiences will save you a ton of cash to boot.

First you need to understand the scope of the event, picture the biggest event you've seen in person; the Dodger game at the Coliseum, E3, Laker parade? All these events pale in comparison to what you are about to walk into. Over 200,000 people from all over the world, their are small countries that don't even have that population living there. These rabid fan-people and bandwagoneers gather here and every year that goes by this number will only grow exponentially.

So lets start off, where your thoughts will begin. "If I go there later, there will be fewer people!" NO, this is a misconception based on, your holiday shopping experiences; as the day progresses crowds only get bigger. The only thing that thought will save you is time in the badge pick up line. You should however, not be discouraged by that line if you arrive in the morning; because of the fact that there are almost 100 convention employees specifically assigned to speed this process along, this will be the most painless line during the course of your experience.

Why did I give that part of the tour first? Because that is the thought you will have when you think about preparing for the show. Let's move on to Los Angelinos favorite subject, traffic. No matter how early you think you can leave, you will never beat all of the traffic. The best you can do here is to beat the traffic going to the city. For those dumb enough to think once I get off the freeway my iphone will find a way around, I say this; unless you reach the city by 5am, you will be stuck no matter what. Streets are often blocked to optimize traffic in the city, a GPS is about as good as navigating by the stars at 7am. Getting from the freeway to the convention center is the worst experience a person can have, it can only be compared to delivering a baby through a vagina that only expands to the diameter of a garden hose, while watching a TV stuck on the directv preview channel. How does one get around this? The answer is actually very simple, if you've got an inch of patience and can read a color map, San Diego has one of the best mass transit systems in the world. The trolley runs from 6am to midnight during comic con, making this a great way to avoid the hassle of feeling like you have to leave right after. Last I checked you could ride it all day for a mere five dollars. In my personal experience I've found the stop in the Fashion Valley Mall to be the most convenient. It's location is far enough away from the convention center to give you multiple freeway options for the drive home. You can find all the info here http://www.sdmts.com/Trolley/ComicCon.asp. This is also great for seeing sights like this, I think that's my friend Rhiannon in the far side.

That will also take care of another massive elephant in the room, parking. Parking at the convention center is actually reasonably priced at 12 dollars, however if you don't arrive to the convention center by 6am, chances are there wont be any left. This year people were given the option to prepay for parking but like paying for your college's parking pass, it doesn't mean you wont end up parking in the farthest part of the lot, if your lucky enough to even find a space. There are numerous parking structures around the area and Petco Park, I've been told however that those parking lots can go upwards of $20. If you take the trolley, in some stations you may find free parking, if you take if from a hotel you can park in their lot, usually for a reasonable fee.

Note if you're feeling very adventurous and feel that 50 bucks is worth saving your driving sanity, Amtrak has trains that go from Fullerton to San Diego. I'm not entirely sure how that works, when I looked in to it, round trip just seemed to expensive and I wouldn't want to be left in San Diego without a way to get home. http://tickets.amtrak.com/itd/amtrak#

"So I should get a hotel?" No, unless you've been racking up the unemployment cash like this guy. A hotel is the worst option, the nice hotels around the convention center fill up in March, well before the show. Often times these rooms go for $200 a night, Super 8's and Best Westerns can be found in the out skirts about 10 minutes down the freeway. My first year coming back to Comic Con, I stayed at a Super 8 in San Yisidro just 5 minutes from the US/ Tijuana border. This was bad, and your hearing this from a guy (who thanks to Best Buy) stayed at a hotel in Seattle once, where people slept in the hallway waiting for the person they were going to buy drugs from. If you're lucky, you can split a nice room amongst a group of four people for about $50 a person.

Normally even on a Saturday when you go to Disneyland, you don't make an itinerary the night before of all the rides you want to get on and at what time you have to get on exactly. This however is not Disneyland, with at least a hundred thousand attendees a day, all going for the few capacity things you are trying to see, planning ahead is a must. There's an unspoken rule that I just came up with ten seconds ago, if you really want something you'll wait 3hrs for it. This includes panels to see upcoming movies, exclusive toys, free stuff and autograph signings. The phrase "cool this ends at this time and we can go to this right after," does not apply. There will be people there who in some cases have camped out the night before, just to be the first to get on the Internet and spoil Robert Downey Jr's appearance for people. Accept that you aren't going to beat these people to anything. Look at the program online, pick what you want to see and at least two back up things. Don't be afraid to sit through things you've never heard of, last year in order to see the Walking Dead, Monica and I sat through Hawaii five-0 (why that was at comic con I do not know), it wasn't the worst experience of my life and it ensured that I would be in the ballroom when the Walking Dead premiere panel came on right after.

"Eating?" The only words of advice on this subject, bring food! Don't be afraid to lug around an entire lunch, food places in and around the convention center are few and far between, unless you really love pretzels and apple juice. There are a few restaurants, but you often times walk 6-10 blocks up the street and face an hour wait sometimes just to sit down. There's not a Mc D's or Burger King anywhere near there. Save your big appetite for after the show and go to this place, http://www.philsbbq.net/ , best BBQ you've ever had. Myself and Man Vs Food can not be wrong about this. If you feel the need to ignore any of this, but don't want to starve to death; the week before the show follow every movie and production studio on twitter. There are hundreds of sub events outside the convention center, that are within walking distance and almost always have free shirts and food for people. It's a great way to eat for free, that won't take up a ton of time from your convention going. Last year's Scott Pilgrim vs the world event was a huge one and Flynn's arcade filled me and my bag with a weeks supply of free coke zero.

One last thing about the show you can not stress enough. WALK EVERYTHING! This is the biggest event of the year and sets up many of the things you will see for the rest of the year. Comic con is how I saw "the Dark Knight" for free a week early and how I made 150 bucks from selling a tron disc (I got for free) to some dork on eBay. This year, I'd be willing to bet if you searched hard enough you will get something cool from the new "Dark Knight Rising" film that you can sell to someone for 100% profit.

Finally the drive home. It's like a giant scale version of a Dodger game, if you leave in the 7th inning you will beat the traffic, but you may miss something awesome. (Well at least in the times when Either was hitting all those walk off HR's) Leave when the exhibit hall closes and you will face a traffic storm that I guarantee you've never encountered. Best option don't take the 5 freeway, second best (excluding Sunday), I did say only the exhibit hall closes at 7pm, stay and enjoy some of the after hours activities at and around the show. There are always free movies screened at the convention center, last year we saw "Batman: Under the Red Hood" a month before it's release. If you've followed the movie companies you can find lots of great free events to see. Best option for avoiding Sunday traffic, don't go to Comic Con on Sunday or if you have to leave by 3pm (unless Danny DeVito is there doing "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Panel, shit is hilarious).

There you have it, hopefully some of this will save you from the horrible side of Woodstock.....errr I mean Comic Con.

- David N.

Life Cycle of the Stupid, Illogical, Terribly Unhappy, Suffering all the Time Employee.

Feel free to maximize the flow chart above and comment if necessary.

Certain people and events at my place of business recently inspired the creation of this. Things could always be better but every day I make a conscious decision to go to work, do a job, and get paid for doing so. I'm in no way miserable and with the economy the way it is I don't feel I'm underpaid in the least.

If you are so unhappy, underpaid, and unappreciated do something about it.

Dodger Crips

Since day one of the 2011 baseball season, the Los Angeles Dodgers organization has been a total mess, inside and out. As a lifelong fan of the team, which has turned into a obsession the last seven years of my life, I feel it best to use this forum to speak my mind on some of the events that have occurred these past few months.

It’s definitely well known by now what happened on opening day - a few gang-bangers jumped a middle aged man because he was wearing a San Francisco Giants jersey. Is that all there is to the story? Maybe, maybe not. Is it safe to assume that’s all that happened? That two or so drunk thugs jumped a man, blindsiding him and beating him till he was unconscious, JUST because he was in a San Francisco Giants Jersey? In my opinion, it definitely is. If that sounds ludicrous to you, then you haven’t been to Dodger Stadium nearly as much as me.

Dodger Stadium in the last few years has been neither family friendly, nor safe in any aspect of the word. Since 2004 I have seen countless senseless acts of violence, verbal abuse, or otherwise at the hands of people who simply don’t care about a baseball game. The atmosphere has deteriorated as this type of behavior has been ignored by the organization because the attendance numbers the Dodgers have raked in the last few years are right up there with the Yankees, no complaints when it comes to ticket sales. Because of this, we have people like the accused who are in custody for beating Bryan Stow, who attend games simply to align themselves with a new color. People wearing other jerseys are enemies to them - they are neither men with children, or fans who simply want a Dodger dog and to enjoy a ballgame of their visiting team. The kind of mentality that has sunk in from being a Dodger fan is absolutely repulsive to me. I often read fans suggesting those who dare wear jerseys of other teams get what they deserve, and in the early days of the Bryan Stow case this attitude was definitely prevalent. There simply is no excuse for this type of attitude, especially when it comes to sports teams. In this case, if you suggest that he was asking for it, you fall into the category as the person who thinks; “her skirt is kinda short, so she was probably asking for it” as well. Your psychological issues have nothing to do with a man who was sucker punched and then put into a coma. Even more tired are the Angelinos who like to reference the violence in sports in merely a tradition, that fans at football matches in the UK and beyond nearly kill each other all the time. Who cares? Nothing in this country is as beloved as football is to those fans. Here in the US we have many options, including MLS. No one cares about soccer riots, and just because you watched a DVD on Hooliganism does not mean you can punch a fan because he was minding his own business, wearing a Cincinnati Reds jersey. If you fall in line with this way of thinking, do the real fans a favor - stay home and shut up.

Can a visiting fan provoke another Dodger fan? Sure, but that isn’t the focus here, and I’ve come to realize this is rarely the case. Even if Mr. Stow was the boogey man before this incident, I could never bring myself to hold him responsible since this truly is rarely the case. This is about a Mets fan who is in line for the bathroom at a playoff game, chatting with a Dodger fan behind him, who gets bum rushed and assaulted by some other Dodger “fans” because of his jersey. This is the Giants fan who is with his ten year old kid, getting a beer poured over his head while the kid watches for merely walking through the reserve level. This is another Giants fan walking through the loge level with his hot dog, minding his own business while his team is down to the boys in blue, and gets sucker punched, with an emphasis on the sucker. The other Mets fan beaten in the bathroom during the playoffs, the Reds fan who was showered with peanuts and beer, the Pirates (!) fan who one gangbanger shouted, “F**k your flag”, before pulverizing him. That one still baffles me to this day. The stadium being overrun by cholos, thugs, and just plain meatheads needs to be put to an end, and I hope this is finally on the horizon despite it taking the misfortunes of Bryan Stow to get us there.

Here are the basics: Dodger stadium has not been safe or secure for a while now. The lawsuit announced today by the family of Bryan Stow is in no way unjust, and also would be completely beneficial to the true baseball fans of Los Angeles and around the country who wish to visit our stadium. The stadium is a cathedral. It is gigantic, glowing of perfect green grass and the retro-colored seats, appearing untouched since the day it was built rather than refurbished and well-kept. The retro lights, and the darkness of the parking lot at night, and the inability to reach any officials during or after the game is disturbing, to say the least.

In May 2005, the stadium held the infamous “two dollar Tuesdays”. The result was disastrous. Besides a heap of totally unruly, idiotic fans causing hysteria throughout the game - an incident saw fans littering the outfield grass with hordes of trash after stadium security apprehended an idiot who ran onto the field. It was almost a relief to witness it in person, as I didn’t have to hear the shame in Vin Scully’s voice on television when such a sad, disrespectful act was committed. Along with all the fights that ensued at those games, Frank McCourt knew things had to change. Yadda, yadda, yadda. He hired off duty LAPD officers to roam the grounds full time, and they were permitted to do so in full police uniform. Where did that go, though? That was 6 years ago, it has came and gone, and where are we now? In a massive parking lot that has enough room for massive flea markets, as well as just massive amounts of commercials, where are the security to oversee everything? Where is that revenue going?

Bryan Stow’s family deserves, and needs, to be paid for every last cent that they would ever need. Because of his condition, and the fact that it is still unknown if he will ever wake up, he needs 24 hour care. Think of those medical bills, especially these days - it is truly frightening. He has two children who now may be deprived of a father, because he wanted to watch a baseball game at our stadium. Frank McCourt’s organization allowed this to happen, because violence at the stadium was never an issue until it was on the front page. These thugs were welcomed as they were just mere dollar signs. The organization no longer belongs to Frank McCourt, nor will it ever again. The fans that attend the games should not fear authority or any security, and should not tolerate idiocy. Despite the horrific events that have occurred, the true baseball fans of Los Angeles can take back what is theirs, and will know how to share their stadium.

Otherwise? You can get used to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_kRqA5OVjU

Regardless of the financial outcome of the lawsuit, if you have an extra buck or two you can donate to Bryan Stow and his family at http://www.support4bryanstow.com. Be sure to check out the store where you can donate in exchange for a wristband or something else.


-Danny A.

UFZ: Return from Stranger Unemployment checks

Well here we are with another money saving experience. Yes I brave long two hour waits and douchey people dressed as pirates with jeans to bring you a few thoughts on Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Pirates has officially joined the annoyance level of twilight, never before have I been so disgusted at human beings dressing like pirates this far from Halloween. Your all right up there on the all time assclown list with those fat chicks that wear softball jerseys to comic con as if they would ever make it to first base both physically and figuratively. Sorry for the angry tone, bad weekend for this reporter.

Alright back to business, I will admit to being one of those people who believes the glory days of this franchise has come and gone, namely when the second movie was released. While the character of Captain Jack is enough to win me over on it's own, it's horrendously overshadowed by how much you will hate Penelope Cruz love interest character of Angelica. I didn't buy there being any chemistry between her and Depp. She single handedly set back anyone named Cruz twenty years. How did she even get famous? Geoffrey Rush and Ian McShane turn in solid performances as Barbosa and Blackbeard. While were on the subject, please note that the only cool part of the movie is the mermaid scene. It's also the most racially ignorant scene, only one black mermaid among all the white ones. Where's the racial harmony, no hispanic mermaids? You know they can swim. No Asian mermaids? Were they all busy doing math and playing tennis for their school? Except for the question of how can such a powerful historic relic depend on a few measly rocks? The plot is fun and simple to follow if you need to use the can during the movie.

Stay after the credits if you want to waste more time, there is an after credits moment with Penelope Cruz that doesn't lead to anything interesting. This movie doesn't do anything to move the franchise forward, but it also doesn't stay in the past, almost as if it was just a season premiere of a television show after losing one of it's characters. All in all it's a perfect afternoon wasting action flick, anything full price and you will have the buyers remorse. If you can see it in 3D, do so, this is one of the few rare movies where visuals are noticeably improved.

If you looking for the best in free movie going experiences follow the LA Times Hero complex, unlike campus circle and gofobo the screenings are not shared with other media outlets. This means few seats go to VIP's, plus you get a free large popcorn and soda. So there you have it a so so movie made better with a few free things.

Here's something more enjoyable than Penelope Cruz

- David N.

Stop Believin'

In about 26 hours I'll be on the road to San Diego, more specifically Del Mar, and as usual it is business related. I'm not sure what to expect traffic wise but I am ready to ingest a weekday morning's worth of carbon dioxide. I consulted Wikipedia for some more information on Del Mar and here are the bullet points:

• Population: 4,660. I graduated high school with more people than that.
• The rarest pine trees in the United States, known as Torrey Pines, grow here. This might be where they filmed FernGully.
  
• Steve Perry, lead singer of Journey, lives here now. Operation: Stop Believin' commence.
• There's some famous race track.

That's it. Sounds like a pretty uneventful two days away from la casa. 'Til next time.

A Letter to Sony

Dear Sony,

I'd like to thank who ever it was that fell asleep at the wheel in your security department. Your lapse has allowed my irrational fears of identity theft to be materialized. Seventy-seven million people have PlayStation Network accounts linked to a credit card and we're all looking forward to the day when we see unapproved purchases from some of our favorite stores. Hi Capital One, I'm calling to dispute the $300 in Visa Pay-As-You-Go cards that were purchased from a 7-11 in Topeka, Kansas. Thanks to you we're all second guessing that $5.99 purchase of Resident Evil 2. And what a joy it was to spend 45 minutes changing the passwords to all of my online accounts. Most people can't remember what they had for dinner yesterday and now I'm supposed to memorize the answers to all of my new security questions. In what city was I born in? Fuck you, Sony.

Respectfully,

- Mike O.

Blog, Blog, Bloggin' On Heaven's Door

First off id like to bid farewell to a great man, Jose Andrade. I first met him at best buy almost six years ago, and I got to know him a bit from his time in appliances and being the sales operator. I really wish I would have gotten to know him better, but his surgeries and treatments kept him away from work a bunch. Probably one of the coolest things about Jose was his great musical taste. It would always put a smile on my face when I'd walk over to the managers bridge and Jose would have his ipod hooked up and be listening to Morrissey, but then after like 10 min he'd call me over to the bridge and Jose would be playing "Rumpshaker" by Wreckx-N-Effect and we'd both laugh. The best part about it was that Jose made it like an everyday thing, One minute it was "suede head" then he would call me over and ask me "what do you know about this?" then he would put on "knockin boots" or "poison" and we would both just sit there laughing.

As Mike stated in his previous blog, Little things like complaints about work, customers, school, gas prices, etc, all are nothing compared to what Jose went through. So the next time you think you have problems, just take a breath and realize that it could be so much worse, life is waaaaaay too short.

Sorry if this post is depressing, I wanted to write about Jose then get to the funny stuff, but I don't know, I want this to be all about him.

In closing I'd like to say that the world is really going to miss him and may he put in a good word for us and save us a seat up there.

-Abel

A Whole Lot of Everything. And Diapers.

No surprises here; losing a loved one is emotionally overwhelming. Writing just a few sentences about it means you have to once again come to terms with their mortality. For some, it's a good way to embrace their memory but as for myself I've never found it therapeutic. In fact, I remember returning to work fairly quickly when my dad passed away some years ago. It was a great distraction and my own way of paying tribute to his work ethic. To me, it meant more to exemplify the man he was since I felt few words would do him justice.

Having lost a great friend recently I'm back to realizing how many things seems so trivial and insignificant in comparison. I also realized how hard it is to stop complaining about the little things because it's human nature.

I was having a conversation with somebody at work. The usual stuff was discussed: making revenue, attaching profitably, supporting growth plans, reading company news, planning vendor trainings, dealing with customer issues. Then all of a sudden I just stopped talking. All these numbers floating through the air felt so trivial. That was the day the news had broke and it just seemed inappropriate to put any ounce of caring into some floating number.

Right now, every little complaint feels so out of place. Traffic, poor cell phone reception, that douche bag writing a check and holding up the line. At some point you have to force yourself to remember that things could be worse.

With that said, this blog wouldn't be in existence if it weren't for a lot of the little things we have problems with. I know and respect the fact that things could be worse, but there has to be some room for a little comic relief in realizing the audacity of our trivial complaints. Which brings me to my main (stupid/irreverent) point: The diaper aisle is a confusing and offensive nightmare.

The Mrs. and I went to Target recently to buy baby clothing for our friend and little did we know how clueless we were. Mistake number one was not knowing that diapers are sized too specifically to be given as a gift, especially if you don't know the weight of the baby involved. If age ain't nothing but a number then why can't Huggies put it on the label? 1 month, 2 month, 3 month, etc;. Instead, I see the number "3" and think it's for three-year olds. Mistake number two was assuming that there was only one kind of diaper. Diapers with better absorbency, diapers with stretchier waistbands and stronger fastening adhesives. I'm literally offended by designer diapers that replicate the look of camouflage or denim. Really? What purpose do they serve if in seconds they go from being a fashion statement to a manure reservoir. It makes no sense. By the way, have you seen diaper prices lately? How the hell do they get away with charging so much for disposable underwear? I'm thinking about buying some Proctor & Gamble stock to get in on this diaper gravy train.

There you have it folks. Stay sane and see you next time.

Nicknamed

As much as I'd like to provide a more specific date or time, I just can't. My memory is more often than not absent of many key details and there are many who can vouch for that. Knowing my limitations, I can tell you that it was at least a few years ago when I attended over ten local wrestling events at The Allen Theater in South Gate, CA. Attendance varied, anywhere from 80 to 150 people got to see a good live show complete with all the drama and trash talking you'd expect. Some of the best matches involved a wrestler by the name of El Gallinero who wore a luchador mask and performed some insane high flying stunts. His introduction music into the ring was some Spanish house music that I had to have. Some time after, I can't remember how I found it or if Daniel sent it to me, but I found the music video for the song on YouTube. The video is bizarre, entertaining, and probably annoying to those (Veronica) who have been forced to hear the song repeatedly. At some point during a work day in what I think was 2008 I played the video for a friend at work. He laughed, shook his head, and a day later gave me the nickname Gallinero. He called me that at work, at his wedding, and even at the baby shower last year where I shared a beer with him so he wouldn't have to suffer through the event alone.

Rest in peace, Jose Andrade. You will always be remembered.