Arizona, We Hardly Knew Ye

Visiting Las Vegas means you bear the plus one hundred degree heat as you casino-hop with yard long margaritas in hand and digital cameras in pocket. During most heated travels you're rewarded with countless entertainment within walking distance that helps you soon forget your back is sweating. Old people rule the day, young people the night. Phoenix is not Las Vegas. There is no reward for your sweaty back. There are no yard long fruity drinks and every hotel isn't a casino. There's no trams or moving walkways. At night, the streets are empty since it's hard to have fun when your hair is on fire. Phoenix was a boring dump.

I deviated from my group of coworkers so I could enjoy happy hour while they did nothing at the hotel. Turns out I had some engaging conversations with passionate sports fan transplants at Uno's Chicago Grill. The waitress was a Cubs fan from Chicago, the bartender was a Red Sox fan, the guy sitting next to me at the bar grew up watching the Reds who were playing the Dodgers that day. We talked baseball for a good while and I was fortunate enough to see the look on the waitress' face when Jeff Samardzija lost it for the Cubs in extra innings. Before I left I asked if there was anything fun to do in Phoenix to which most of them replied no and directed me to Tempe and Scottsdale, both superior bar/party scenes.

No late fees here in Tempe, AZ. The Library was the best decorated bar I've ever seen, complete with an actual library, pool hall, arcade, second floor, and smoker's porch. It was dead empty obviously since we were there on both a Sunday and Monday night. The well drinks were dirt cheap and the appetizers were fresh. Downstairs was a piano bar called The Big Bang and nobody has any video of me doing anything at any time so you'll never see it. Piano bars are awesome and the guys here were on par with anything I'd ever seen in Vegas. All of this was happening in Tempe, miles and miles away from Phoenix.

Before I get to Scottsdale I have to ask: what's with all the thunderstorms and lightning during summer, Arizona? The state is one giant flickering mosquito lamp. Also, where were all the Matt Lienart, Kurt Warner, and Steve Nash jerseys? All I kept seeing was tons of white kids in ASU shirts with that devil that doesn't look nearly as cool as the New Jersey Devils' devil. (Featured on the right: devil in one-piece pajama outfit).

Scottsdale, AZ was just as fun and lively as Tempe with tons of bars and white college kids to keep things interesting. Old Town Scottsdale looked like every old town city you've visited recently with quarky shops, wooden posts, white people, and those guys on bike taxis, or taxi bikes. For some reason there's a giant mountain in the middle of this city, a confusing sight to see unless you're a local whitey. Did I mention how many white people there are in Scottsdale?

I'll never forget the last dinner we ate at My Big Fat Greek Restaurant in Phoenix's Copper Square town center. Everyone's enjoying their meal and all of a sudden someone offers me a generous portion of ouzo, the most disgusting liquor on the face of the earth. How could anything that tastes like black licorice be anything but terrible?

Phoenix, AZ is the black licorice of America.

IEC On Hiatus: Destination Steve Nashville, USA

Get trip updates and pictures via my twitter.

Back in four days.

Get Out The Rye Bread And Mustard, Grandma!

I'll be out of town for four days (read all about it) which means it was time to hit the dollar store and see what travel sized necessities I could score before hitting CVS or Target. Now normally I avoid these places since everything is trashed, from the products on the ground to the customers in wife-beaters, but I received a tip from my sister that this one was the exception to the rule.

While this place was incredibly cleaner than any other 99 cent store I've ever seen, I still didn't find much of anything I really needed other than a toothbrush/toothpaste combo pack from everybody's favorite doctor, Dr. Fresh.

What I did find though was tons of other dumb crap to distract me, such as an entire four-by-four section of sports brand talking bottle openers. Sure, none of them featured Los Angeles based teams, but who needs that when you can buy an Atlanta Braves, Florida Marlins, or Ariza Wildcats bottle opener. My goal is to collect one per week and this time it was Dave Niehaus' time to shine via a Bret Boone grand salami call for the Seattle Mariners:

(I did not buy that beer, it was given to me by my neighbor. I didn't even open it. I swear.)

Still shopping for collectibles on a budget? Here's a few other things you get for a dollar:

• Plastic plates with Clippers, UCLA, or Braves logos
• A 3D poster of Priest Holmes (to burn)
  
• An Atlanta Braves World Series highlight reel or Wayne Gretzky's Winning Techniques also on VHS

Apparently there's a million Braves fans in L.A.. I love Tim Hudson too but they should get some Dodger things in stock since the store is in Los Angeles.

Talking bottle openers and anything with that "plays when you push it" button usually break within a few days so if you want to have a beer with me and enjoy a Mariner's call you'd better act fast. Next week: Florida Marlins talking bottle opener.

What To Mute: The Nissan Cube

It's time to trade up.

New Young Pony Club's "Ice Cream" plays for thirty seconds in the latest commercial for Nissan's Cube, a new car that looks like the retarded half-brother of the Toyota Scion xB. You've heard of punch buggy? How about every time you see someone driving a Nissan Cube you pull as close as possible light a ciggarrette and flick in the direction of the driver's eyes.

Mute.

IEC Needs A Sponsor

When I signed up for Lucille's Smokehouse Bar-B-Que e-mail newsletter I expected more coupons and special access to a secret menu. Instead I'm one of the first to know that Chicken Sassafras and Hickory Smoked Salmon are part of a summer specials menu. Me and Andre Ethier will be reviewing those dishes for the next blog.

Artwork, Liner Notes, and Thank Yous: A Look Back At Tha Dogg Pound's "Dogg Food"

November 17th, 1995 - Entertainment Weekly, p.79: "...a dictionary entry for `Long Beach rap.'....anchored by familiar, rib-shuddering Jeep beats and eerily dazed synths, buckshot rapping spices up the album's predominantly loping gait, and soulful R&B swing, touches of dancehall, and old-school vocals look beyond So-Cal..." - Rating: A.

I'll try to reconstruct this memory as best as possible. When I was eight years old I got a hold of Snoop Doggy Dogg's Doggystyle cassette tape which had just been released and featured an elaborate fold out comic strip smothered with profane artwork and language. A few listens later coupled with the edited replays on local radio stations some lyrics were not making sense. Sure I figured out "dat" meant that, "tha" meant the, and "niggaz" meant preferred acquaintances, but when it came to the line in Lodi Dodi, "Cause you took your dope away from me", I honestly had no idea what that meant. Snoop would never bring some moronic friend (a dope) to spoil a rowdy party and even if he did why would that person be missed when taken away? I was eight, my sister was just as clueless, and I didn't have any older brothers so that meant I went to mom for some clarity. Soon after the tape was gone, destroyed, ripped apart and thrown in the garbage can. The worst part is I didn't learn my lesson since it was three years later when I was again confused by Howard Stern's use of the word douche bag and once more sought parental insight.

That memory got me thinking about albums, past and present, that I'd heard but didn't bother really looking into the liner notes or booklets. Earlier today I was going through my CDs and found Tha Dogg Pound's Dogg Food and decided it was time for some deconstruction. Instead of reviewing the music (After all, Entertainment Weekly giving it an A pretty much somes things up, right?) I'll instead take a look back into the artwork, liner notes, thank yous, and gratuitous vulgarity that gets funnier each time I read it.

Above is the fifth page of the album's booklet which features a touching thank you from Kurupt to his beloved mother. It reads: My Momma (who always got my motherfuccin' bacc, no matter what the fucc happens. "I LUV U!"). In fifteen words Kurupt has summed up the feelings for his momma that echo the sentiments we have towards our own mothers. In contrary to all this love, the second to last line on the page showcases a stern warning from Daz to his enemies. It reads: Fuc all you bitches with 500 dollars worth of shit on your heads. Since four hundred dollars worth of shit on your head wasn't enough he had to throw in ANOTHER hundred just to teach you a lesson. Daz really doesn't appreciate your hating.

Page three pictured above. Unfortunately for us Sam Sneed and Danny Boy were only given the opportunity to release an EP and not an LP. We're still waiting. Speaking of waiting, Michel'le made us wait nine years to follow up her self-titled debut with the sophomore release of Hung Jury that had favorites like "Hang Tyme" and "Can I Get A Witness". And I won't get into the history of Club 662 but Wikipedia says it's now called Club Seven which I cannot find any information on. Somebody help me out before my next Vegas trip.

Tha Lass Supper? Da Lazt Supp'r? Thanks for not putting the name of the painting in the notes fellas. I really am curious to find out if Da or Tha was used to title this painting and what rules apply in figuring that out. Hopefully there's a clever way to remember the rule. Da before Tha except after... - Whatever the title is, I'm still trying to name everyone in it. I'm assuming the ones I can't name are the ones who were never famous, like Sam Sneed and Danny Boy. Also, The Lady of Rage looks like Princess Leia.

Here's where I need your help. If you own the CD please remove it from your shelf and open the booklet to pages two and three. See Daz chilling in the car in the upper right looking like he just passed out? Good. Now take a good hard look at his attire. Sleak black jacket and slacks, check. Golden bracelet, questionable but appropriate. Newsboy cap, otherwise lame and douchey but permissible since it's Tha Dogg Pound and not you. Now, look at the tie Daz is wearing. Look really hard. That's right mothafucca, Daz is wearing a tie with a reindeer on it. Antlers, red nose, frolicking. Daz is sporting Rudolf running around in the woods on his tie. Here is the best scanned zoom I can get:

Awesome.

That about does it for deconstructing Dogg Food. I hope you've all seen the value of album artwork, booklets, liner notes, thank yous, and vulgarity. I'm working on the next album artwork deconstruction so until then try not to be a hater or you'll be swimming in five hundred dollars worth of shit.

By The Time I Get To Arizona

In about a week I'll be flying to Phoenix, Arizona and staying there for four days. That means I have about 168 hours to mentally prepare for the flying experience and to convince myself that it's a million times safer than those rides at the Tweedy Mile street fair in South Gate.

To bring everyone up to speed, here's a quick look at my flight history:

As you can clearly see, there is a one in six chance (16%) I will be throwing up on myself, nearby passengers, or in a bag of carry on luggage filled with awesome Black Sabbath and LA Kings shirts that will have to be discarded suspiciously in an airport bathroom garbage can. The odds are clearly in my favor.

Quick fact: In Arizona, Arizona Iced Tea is just called Iced Tea.

Aside from the mental preparing I'll be doing before the flight, there's a few things I'll be on the lookout for at my hotel. Let's face it, the trip is business related and there's no real chance of me taking a This Is Phoenix tour, visiting Castles 'N Coasters, or having any real fun in general. So to pass the time and forget about it being eleven hundred degrees here's a list of what I'll be keeping score on with my predictions in brackets:

• Number of towels in room [8]
• Number of Rascals in use [5]
  
• Number of Asian tourists, or Asian people in general [13]
• Number of lizards in hallways of hotel [1, 1 and a half maybe. Those Rascals are fast]
• Number of Renegade Border Patrol support bumper stickers or t-shirts [2]
• Number of Augie Ojeda jerseys [23]

That about wraps it up. By The Time I Get To Arizona is one of my all time favorite Public Enemy songs so for the rest of the night I'll be listening to it while staring at an inappropriate picture of Jean Grey transforming into Phoenix.

Twix: Good Source of Copper.

Art immitating (my) life:

A regular sized two ounce package of Twix contains 7% of your daily Copper allotment.

This explains why pennies made before 1982 were made with close to 98% copper and why pennies made after 1982 are now made mostly of zinc. Screw pennies, we need our Twix!

Artest to Lakers, Ariza to Rockets, Bear to Sandwich

You're in a movie theater. Once you find the right seat and spill a little nacho cheese it's time for previews. In three minutes a number of studios will do their best to make you want to see the full length version of an upcoming movie by featuring highlights and one-liners. Some previews are memorable. Some you'll watch and know right away there's nothing in those three minutes that will in any way interest you in seeing the full ninety. No big deal, you're just not interested. You wouldn't review a movie you never saw, no matter how bad the preview makes it look, you just know it's not for you and that's fine.

I got home tonight and checked all my bookmarked sports blogs to find these comments from J.E. Skeets over at Yahoo!'s Balls Don't Lie:

The Lakers don't need [Ron Artest]. His off-court palatables hardly matter. The Laker offense begs for players whose hands don't stick to the ball, and Ron's hands stick to the ball like no other. He's the wrong idea. He's a wasted face. He's the wrong choice.

Let that sink in.

He's the wrong choice.

The wrong choice. Really?

Ariza declined an incredibly fair offer from the Lakers. The Lakers then have the opportunity to sign a player who Ariza can only hope to become over the next few years and should pass on it because Artest probably won't fit the triangle?

I'm sorry Skeets but you havn't seen anything yet. Predictions are fine, but this is one of the league's best defenders who will be joining a team filled with great leaders (Fisher, Bryant) and with a coach (hopefully) who is known for keeping guys like Artest (See: Dennis Rodman) under control. Give it a fucking chance. Artest has more than earned it.

On a lighter note, I am including a true story that will help cheer us all up about the departure of Trevor Ariza to the Houston Rockets. Abel, this is for you:

Jeff Kent Superstar

Jeff Kent is on ABC's The Superstars where both athletes and stars are paired up in a decathlon like competition. Never in a million years would I, nor any other person who knows of Jeff Kent, would guess he'd be paired with that girl from the Doritos Super Bowl ad for a reality TV show. Hard to believe it's all so very, very true:


Hopefully there's something motor bike related next week so he can leave Lisa Leslie in the dust.

The Resurrection of Jeff Goldblum

So you already know about Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays.

What you don't know is that Jeff Goldblum died too, according to several fake tweets that were actually used as a creditable source on Australian TV (video here). Jeff's classic appearance on The Colbert Report to refute the charges should not be missed by anyone.

As for the month of June, thanks for nothing.

Irony or Coincidence: Week 1

Each week I'll write a fictitious statement and you'll have to decide if it is either ironic or coincidental. That's it. Here goes Week 1:

Irish librarian killed by book filled with James Joyce poetry.

Let the voting begin!

Top 10 List: Real Men of Genius

It's been ten years since the first Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercial aired so without further adieu I bring you my very own Top 10 Best Real Men of Genius list (with some audio!):

• #10: Mr. Baseball Designated Hitter [link]
• #9: Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer [link]
• #8: Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer [link]
• #7: Mr. Indecisive Food Order Guy [link]
  
• #6: Mr. Dishonest Cable TV Hooker Upper [link]
• #5: Mr. New Shoe Tissue Paper Stuffer [no link]
  
• #4: Mr. Basketball Court Sweat Whiper Upper [link]
  
• #3: Mr. Professional Sports Leg Cramp Rubber Outer [no link]
  
• #2: Mr. Pro Sports Heckler Guy [link]
• #1: Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller [link]
  

Your own suggestions are welcomed, no matter how non-worthy they are of this top ten list. Also, do not submit your own creations. I have already written the best ones that Bud Light has yet to think of:

• Mr. Refuses To Say God Bless You To Men's Sneezes Refuser
  
• Mr. Eats Less Than Normal Around Hot Girls
• Mr. Friend of Guy Who Got Kicked Out At Sporting Event Story Teller
  
• Mr. Baseball Game Beer Spilling Spiller

Goodnight everybody!

Dodgers: Me Estas Tentando

Don't touch my glove
I'm just a bug
You need a dove
All of the drug

At Dodger Stadium or at home, every time I hear James Loney's batting music I can never make out the correct lyrics. Since I don't listen to urban radio stations any more I figured I'd never know the song's artist or title. Lucky for me Dodgers.com hooked a brother up by identifying the song, which just so happens to be on YouTube with all the lyrics scrolling by. Awesome:


While we're at it, let me introduce you to Manny's batting intro music with special English language captions [click here]. Here's some other player requested song highlights:

• Hiroki Kuroda -- "Hero" by the Foo Fighters
• Juan Castro -- "Lean Like A Cholo" by Down
• Andre Ethier -- "Tres Delinquents" by Delinquent Habits

My favorite though has to be Randy Wolf, not because of the songs, but because he has requested two; one for when he's pitching ("Jambi" by Tool), and one for when he's batting ("Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins").

Hey Randy, way to force that balk tonight and knock in two runners.

Aroooooooooooo.

Kobe Bryant Life Sized Bobblehead

What better way to celebrate Kobe than with this incredibly creepy, $13,000 life sized bobblehead. Pre-orders are available so act now and receive yours by September.

If that's not enough, you can remember the 2009 championship by watching the commemorative video I made featuring pictures from the Laker celebration at the Coliseum. I can't take full credit as the idea for the song was first detailed by IEC contributor Danny. Kobe Bryant!

Jell-O Shots Will No Longer Be A Staple Of My Diet

I have no choice but to boycott every Jell-O product after watching this ad from the 1960s.



Haso -_-

Virginia: The Nip-Slip State.

Recently I've made it a personal goal to get better at United States geography and state facts.

In elementary school I had to design a parade-like-float showcasing the state of Colorado. A few rocky mountains, a picture of John Elway, and a huge print out of their flag. Thanks to said project I'll never forget why Denver's called the Mile-High City or that the state bird is the lark bunting (Not Todd Helton bunting).

This week I'm including all of you in my findings of Virginia, the Old Dominion State, since none of you know where Virginia is either you fuckers.

First we'll look at the state flag. Check out the nip-slip, very liberal. This is the kind of flag that would fly over my country. It looks like an ancient Eric Karros stepping on an even more ancient Luis Gonzalez in those old purple Diamondbacks jerseys. And yes, the rumors are true. There is a West Virginia, but their flag sucks balls.

Virginia is sandwhiched imbetween D.C. and North Carolina and has it's own coastal area. More importantly though, it's an 8 hour drive from Virginia to New York City, NY where you can actually do things. At 7.76 million people, Virginia gave us bands like GWAR, Lamb of God, and Dave Matthews Band and celebrities like Batista, Sandra Bullock, and Debbie Matenopoulos.

The state bird, largest city, and all that other boring stuff is easy to find so instead of discussing that I present to you a .43 second clip of Miss Virginia 2009:



Now you know enough about Virginia. Next week: Kentucky.

Apples and Oranges.

Apple now offers R-rated content on iTunes and early estimates are showing the most popular downloaded application is 'Hottest Girls', a slide show of nude hotties. Unfortunately I don't own an iPhone or use iTunes so I can't fulfill my journalistic duty by seeing and using the application for myself. I'm not calling MercuryNews.com a liar, but you wouldn't want me to review a movie I havn't seen yet would you?

It's not hard to figure out why this app became so popular so fast. Who wants to read a six month old Home & Garden magazine while waiting for your name to be called at the doctor's office when you could be looking at a virtual PlayBoy. Nothing creepy about that, right?

How far Apple goes with R-rated content may depend on how many people continue to download applications like this one. So tell your friends that if they want King Dong or Whore of the Worlds on their iPhone, they'd better get downloadin'.

Unrelated note: Reviews of the aforementioned movies will be provided next week by IEC contributor David.

Pale Man's Curse

The Sun is a mixture of gases - approximately 75% hydrogen and 25% helium. These proportions are changing over time as reactions in the Sun's core convert hydrogen into helium.

Don't let those chemical elements fool you. 75% hydrogen + 25% helium = Pure evil. Especially if you are forgetfully stupid and of pale pigment.

Why I forgot to put on suntan lotion before spending hours outdoors yesterday is a mystery to me. I keep a bottle in the trunk of my car for no reason apparently. For a while I've been trying to decide on a mascot for IEC and what would be more fitting now than a lobster wearing a Tribe Called Quest shirt eating a snow cone (David, please draw that for me).

While I follow a steady diet of Aloe Vera and water I'd like to quickly comment on the home remedies I googled yesterday that are supposed to help sunburns:

• Water and Vinegar: I know these Do It Yourself remedies are created for convenience and low cost, but I can't think of anything worse smelling than vinegar. I don't care if it works, I'm not smelling like a terrible salad or gross potato chip.
• Tomato Juice: How many things does this stuff cure? Got a sunburn- tomato juice. Need antioxidant lycopene to prevent cancer- tomato juice. Sprayed by a skunk- tomato juice. Want to throw up your lunch- V8.
• Cucumbers, Onions, Potatoes: Stop right there. If you have these and the above items it's time to open your own SubWay.
• Yogurt: "Use it to cool the skin on your face" remarked one site. Do I even have to comment on this? Abel, do not ask me to use this method.
• Crushed Aspirin Mixed With Water: Probably the only realistic non-food related one I found.

So remember, use suntan lotion or you'll suffer from nightmares about that smiling sun on the Raisin Bran box.

Ticketmaster's Vulgarity

My apologies to those of you seeking non-sports related blogging, it's been a big part of this month. More water bug/Icee related type of blogs are coming soon, but until then here is what Ticketmaster asked me to type in when I went searching around for Dodger tickets:

They'll get your car, tag your building, or break your windows.

Here are some afterthoughts from today's win:

• Los Angeles is not the only city prone to riots following a championship win. [See here.]
• There are never enough women involved in riots. Is it less fun to watch a Jenny or Jessica throw a firework in the middle of a crowd? Get out there, ladies!
  
• Hours after the game ended you still can't hear anything other than sirens and horns.
• Get an Mbenga Signed 8x10 on ebay for less than $20. [link]
• I will give you the $20 needed for that Mbenga 8x10 if you can make any sense of Shaq's tweet from an hour ago: "@Flyassmill diesel dnt slurp but I do give props make and got to much to slurp, come on now u know betta dan that now smak yurself stop hidn -- about 1 hour ago from TwitterBerry".

Hey hey, you you, try to hit my curve ball.

Avril threw the first pitch at a Blue Jays game four days ago. Here's the best video in the world:




And it really goes without saying, but fuck all of you.

Also, the first person to poke fun at "I've been signing balls all day" will be banned from IEC.

Carlos Beltran (Abel) to Pirates: You Suck!

Dodgers/Giants, Yankees/Red Sox, and Cubs/Cardinals will pale in comparison to the soon to be rivalry of Pirates/Mets.

You'd think Andre Ethier's back-to-back walk off wins would make top billing this Sunday morning, but instead the leading story for IEC comes courtesy of SportsByBrooks.com which has shed light on recent comments by Abel err Carlos Beltran and Adam LaRoche. Read:

>> Earlier this week, the Mets were swept by the perennially pathetic Pirates, and that didn’t sit well with some of the New York players. Centerfielder Carlos Beltran went as far as to call it an embarrassment, adding, “I know they’re a big-league ball club, but we’re better than them.”

In return, such conceited comments didn’t please some of the Pittsburgh players, particularly Adam LaRoche. As far as the Pirates first baseman is concerned, Carlos is like school in summertime - no class.

With the Pirates down in Houston, the PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE caught up with LaRoche to get Adam’s angry response to Beltran’s bellyaching:

“I think it shows zero class and zero professionalism,” the Pirates’ first baseman said yesterday at Minute Maid Park. “When somebody says that, they know what they’re saying, and they know it’s going to get out. He knows we’re not going to be real happy about it. If you go and say that to your buddies, it’s one thing. If you go to the media and make that public for us to hear? Yeah, that’s no class.”

But LaRoche saved his best lashing-out for last: “You know, if we’re as bad as he says we are and we swept them, then what’s that make them?” <<

---

Simply awesome.

David @ E3: Put Your Power Gloves On

David's back from E3 and is ready to share his experience with all IEC readers. There was minimal editing done on my part as David's typing skills have improved ten fold. I will add that he did not submit the picture he took with a guy in a Sonic costume most likely because it's just funnier if you picture it for yourself. Away we go:

Another E3 has come and gone at the Los Angeles Convention Center. Between the 40,000 people attending and the outside protesters of Electronic Arts DANTE'S INFERNO, it's safe to say the E3 that matters in the world of entertainment is back. You've more than likely already heard the "Big" announcements, so IEC will bring you the rest. We'll rate the big three companies, girls in outfits their parents told them was a bad idea and people who aren't paid enough to be in those character costumes. If you've driven through downtown LA this week, you've no doubt seen all the ominous banners outside the convention center not commemorating championships. (T Ariza can take care of that) From the minute the show floor opened on Tuesday, it was a non stop bonanza of free T-Shirts and light shows not meant for the seizure prone. I wonder if that guy notices the giant marshmallow man behind him

Nintendo-

The best games announced by nintendo were no where to be found. Mario Galaxies 2 and Metroid alone would have given them a much needed boost against Xbox and Playstation. Not faring well among it's competition, Nintendo still managed to show a few unexpected supriseses.

Scribblenauts (nintendo DS)

First, the concept for those who haven't been following the game: players control the game's character Maxwell whose task is simple: collect a star within the specific level. By himself he just doesn't have the means to acquire the star because they're placed in locations that are juuuuuust out of reach. So he needs help. Your help. Using your vast vocabulary of nouns, drop items in the area to help him get to that star. If there's a dirt wall in the way, call up a shovel. Need to get to higher ground? give him a set of wings. This was awesome!

Wii Resort

This update to the sports pack that came with the Wii system is a great expansion. Making use of the new wii motion plus technology, the game opens up sports that weren't possible during the Wii launch. I got to try basketball and it felt just like the machines we all never got prize tickets out of. Archery was also very impressive, if they can get the calibration right. The wiimote seemed to loose it's center after every round. Once it ships in September, I'll be getting my Wii out of the pawn shop.

Playstation-

2009 is not going to be sony's year, no GOD of WAR in 2009. They lost a big exclusive with Metal Gear and most multi platform games are developing content for microsoft. If not for two surprise titles, Sony would have had a worse outing than nintendo.

Tekken 6

Since I had no idea there was a Tekken 5, it's a big step up. It looks awesome and will definitely slow down work place production everywhere.

Uncharted 2

I never played the first game, but the sequel hitting retail this fall may make that irrelevant. The game not only packs a 16-20 hr single player campaign, but it also has a multiplayer vs mode and a co-op story mode. Uncharted 2 definitely caught me off guard as one of the best games of the show. If you've never heard of this franchise, picture national treasure with 30x the action and better acting.

Xbox360- You know about Halo and Gears of War, we'll talk about what you don't know, NATAL. After the press conference video, I imagined it as just another gimmick like the playstation eyetoy. I was wrong...

While not on the show floor, on Tuesday night at a hotel in Los Angeles, thanks to a dear friend of mine we attended an exclusive no pictures or video media event. I got to test Microsoft's next evolutionary step. All in all, I found Project Natal to be quite refreshing. It's nowhere near the gimmicky device I originally took it for and the fact that it works already on a retail Xbox 360 (Burnout was running on an "out of the store" model, no debugs or special systems required) says a lot about its current stage of development. To say that I'm anxious to see where Microsoft, and it's horde of third party developers, takes his next is an understatement. I'm a bit sad that I didn't get to meet Milo though.

Forza Motorsport 3 on the show floor I got beat : ( To bad she can't drive in real life hahaha

OVERALL SHOW BEST- ROCKBAND: THE BEATLES

This thing was amazing, playing in Abbey Road studios to the rooftop concert every Beatles moment recreated. The new instruments are all authentic 1:2 scaled versions of what the band played. I cant say enough good things about this, especially when I was getting tired of music games as a whole.

Development team rocks behind closed doors

WHAT I CAN'T WAIT FOR-

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 While the game was shown behind closed doors, no camera or video allowed. I got to see the live demo. New maps, new weapons, more story, better everything! Overall Best of Show.

FAVORITE QUOTES-

There were protesters outside of the convention center, angry at Electronic Arts for make the Dante's Inferno game. Chant's of "trade your playstation for a praystation" rang out. They also call EA, "Electronic Antichrist". I'm sure many a japanese tourist were given a free show in democracy.

Best Booth-

Batman Arkham Asylum (it's also the best game you will play in the next 30 days) sick!

Worst TV-

While most of the booths were running on panasonic or Vizio TV's, one lone booth made a stand for price over quality.

Character costumes-

I'm a sucker for classics, Sonic stopped for a quick picture

Raphael was the only one looking at my camera

Stuff We All Get-

This was the part of the show that needs to pick up again. In the years past this pile would have been easily 7x bigger. Three pairs of aviator glasses and free batteries aint gonna cut it.

I even met loyal IEC readers there, waldo wants his corolla back Mike.

Celebrity Sightings-

Missed Mickey Rourke on Tuesday, but I did catch a few sights.

That African American woman is too happy to meet Eliza Dushku.

DJ Ztrip and DJ Hero( not on my top list)

Future Ex Wives

The return of the big show marked the return of the women who moved to LA with dreams of being an actress. I asked what strip club she'd be at tonight

The one on the left kind of looks like lisa.

The one in the glasses(which I will marry) turned me down, never ask out a woman when your ex girlfriend is right next to you.

Mike for you, I also found some girls who like guys that compare ICEE's and slurpee's

My favorite and winner of IEC's best, (because the blonde one gave me a free IMAX ticket

That's the Show, one man can't cover everything. Next year Mike will petition for a media credential that way 3 people will get all acesss passes.

Sneak Preview: David Live @ E3

IEC correspondant David sends this picture in from E3, the Electronic Entertainment Expo held at the Los Angeles Convention Center. A recap of all the events and goings-on will be provided in the next few days, but until then wait patiently while David gathers his thoughts on the latest Beatles release for Rock Band and Microsoft's "Project Natal".

Contest: Can you guess what carted food item David is eating, right now? Is it...

A. Super Pretzel with cheese
B. Italian sausage with with green peppers and onions
C. Roast beef sandwich on rye
D. Chicken Nachos
E. None of the above. David only eats fresh fruits and vegetables.