The Avengers: Early Review Exclusive

And then there came a day unlike any other, when Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, and Thor would be on screen together. While it’s every fanboy’s dream, the harsh reality is that more often than not this can go very wrong, however every once in a great while a movie comes along and becomes the blueprint of what a blockbuster movie should be.

Let’s save the suspense, this was gigantic scale action on steroids. Avengers is every awesome two page spread you've ever seen in comics come to life. I’ll try to keep out major spoilers but in order to fully explain a film with so many volatile elements something has to give. The movie picks up where Thor and Captain America left off; S.H.I.E.LD has the cube and is trying to turn it into a weapon. Loki’s reappearance and attack cause it to fall in the wrong hands, we also loose Hawkeye for a bit but fear not. Nick Fury has to rally his troops, but each is less than thrilled to be working for S.H.I.E.L.D.

We get one awesome fight after another, Cap/Ironman vs Loki, Ironman vs Thor, Captain America vs Thor, Black Widow vs Hulk, Hulk vs Thor, Thor vs Loki, Hulk vs Loki. The battle against Loki’s army is the best mega battle scene since Two Towers or Braveheart, it clocks in at a little over 30 minutes alone.

My concern was Mark Ruffalo as Hulk/Bruce Banner, while he plays the role to hold his own on screen, one could not help but wonder what an Edward Norton Hulk would have been like in this film.

Also certain parts of the movie require you to have at least watched Thor and Captain America, but if you haven't it really won't take away from your enjoyment of this film.

There were only two things Avengers did which were not wrong, just a bit odd. First there was never an “Avengers Assemble!” battle cry (hope this is the scene that was filmed the night of the premiere). Second the death of one of the characters seemed like just a plot moving device and I really liked that character.

No doubt you were going to see this movie regardless of what my opinion would have been. All my intent here is to get you to brave the crowd on opening weekend and see this movie on day 1, it’s just that good.

Note: at the time only the Thanos mid credits scene (possibility of a sequel based on the Infinity Gauntlet story) was shown, there is word another post credits scene will be included in the May 4^th release.

5 out of 5 Thank you Joss!!

- David N.

Wondercon and IEC giveaway

[Editor's Note: I haven't updated in a while, eat me. Also, enjoy this post and the next from David.]

Last weekend Wondercon in Anahiem did not attract Albert Puljos but it did attract these two and was awesome none the less. Here's just a few shots:

St. Patty's Day was not ignored by the cosplayers

Best Joker Ever

The rock was not here promoting G.I Joe

Super professional and one of my favorite writers Brian Buccellato

I had no expectations for this show but ended up loving it. If you're intimidated by the hustle and bustle of Sandiego check out Wondercon, a lot of fun with half the hassle. This was also a reminder of what the purpose of comics is, to pass on these awesome stories. In keeping with this tradition we're giving away this handful of #1's given by DC comics. This giveaway includes signed copies of Captain Atom by J.T Krul and Savage Hawkman and Demon Knights signed by Tony Daniel.

All you have to do is caption this pic in the comments section below by April 20th, 2012, the best one selected by the editor will win the prize. Have fun!





- David N.

Walt Disney Presents: This Review of Walt Disney's The Secret World of Arrietty Inside Walt Disney's El Capitan Theater

I've driven to Hollywood, through Hollywood at least a hundred times since getting my license ten years ago but it wasn't until this past Monday that I finally saw a movie inside of the famous El Capitan Theatre. The building has loads of history as a California landmark and draws you in with it's vintage facade. Aside from open-mouthed gasping at all the antiques and chocolate malts from the Disney Soda Fountain next door my favorite part about the whole nostalgic experience was the music played by the on-site organist. It reminded me of getting to Dodger Stadium early to listen to Nancy Bea play ragtime as I watched Nomar Garciaparra stretch near third base. You should know though that I enjoy organ music so much that: a.) I bought Nancy Bea's CD (now out of print?) from the Dodger Stadium top deck store, b.) listened to my dad's Organ Music Vinyl LP about thirty times as a kid, c.) downloaded the song The Happy Organ by Dave Baby Cortez because I heard a clip of it from an infomercial, and d.) love this song way too much.

The El Capitan is owned and operated by Disney so obviously everything is Disney related. The previews are all for Disney movies, the snacks are Disney themed, and the guy working the concessions was none other than Shaun Weiss, the fat kid from 1992's Mighty Ducks. Just before the movie begins the curtains raise and you get to watch as five different LiteBrite sprinkled backdrops reveal the projection screen.

We went on a Monday afternoon to watch The Secret World of Arrietty, an animated film from Japan based on the book The Borrowers. There were maybe ten people in the theater making that one of the few perks of working retail and having weekdays off. The plot is simple: Arrietty and her family are little people that live inside the walls of a house and borrow things to stay alive. Arrietty is spotted borrowing by a normal sized human boy named Shawn and since "beings" pose a threat to all little people, Arrietty and her family have to move.

Amy Poehler, Will Arnett, and Carol Burnett highlight the voice-over dubs on the American version. I am not a fan of English dubbing over Japanese animation. It annoys me when the speech is out of sync with how the mouths on the character are moving. This alone keeps me away from staying open-minded about most Anime shown in the United States. I'll read a million subtitles before I accept this tradition.

Arrietty's story is familiar but the animation is not. Again, I'm not an authority on Anime or Studio Ghibli films but the way they illustrate wide landscapes and action scenes made me feel like I had 3D glasses on. I've seen so much Pixar that I forgot how good something non-CGI can look. There's a short scene where Arrietty's father drops a rock to propel her upward that left me wondering how many weeks that took to animate. The following piece where Arrietty gets her first glimpse of the kitchen is simply amazing. Every landscape is met with great detail and color.

Ultimately, the film is for children. The writing is simple and it won't keep you as invested as most feature Disney animated films, but any adult who remembers watching The Littles on mid-Sunday afternoons will love looking at this and following Arrietty on her journey towards becoming a real borrower.

B+

- Mike O.

When Much is Expected...

Recently I had the privilege of being invited to see the first project from the recently formed Manley productions. To Whom Much is Given is a documentary film, which chronicles eight weeks in the lives of a handful of troubled inner city students at New West Academy, a non-public school in south central Los Angeles which focuses on growing needs of special education.

Directed by up and coming filmmaker Cory Lutz, To Whom Much is Given takes the road of turning this feature in to an outlet for the kids being showcased such as former gang member Roderick. The decision to go this route doesn’t hurt the enjoyment of the film, but at times does tend to leave you with questions on other interesting subject matter in the film. New West Academy’s founder Dr. Andrew Manley is seen throughout the documentary but the audience is only given bits and pieces of his story. Watching Dr. Manley on screen drew comparisons to Morgan Freeman in Lean on Me, in his no nonsense attitude on dealing with kid’s behavioral problems. Of course I’d want to know more about a guy like that, how could the audience not? At the end we see the kids graduate but we aren’t informed of their post academy fate, only of one of the kids in the actual film. (note during the Q&A with director and founder we did learn a few of them and it was tragic)

The work done on this film by the Manley Productions crew is strong first outing for a rag tag bunch of fresh USC graduates. Most films like these have a skeleton budget, which sadly can often times reflect that fact. With the exception of a couple of built in text titles, this film doesn’t feel amateur or dialed in.

Ultimately To Whom Much is Given doesn’t take the most dangerous path, but it doesn’t take the safest path either. The film itself doesn’t take a side, it only tells an unbiased story through the eyes of a few kids society gave up on. Giving these kids an outlet succeeded to laying in an anti gang undertone to the film, but ultimately we aren’t left with post filming information. I enjoyed watching this film and was left with a lot of questions after it was over, but maybe that is what a good documentary should do, inform you just enough to where you want to know more.

3 out of 5

Personal note, hadn't been back to USC since my time there, still the same campus is like a stripper, pretty on the outside confusing on the inside.

- David N.

Drive-thru Anarchy

Sunday evening, lunch time. I'm on my way back from celebrating Dr. Pepper Sunday (the one day of the week when I allow myself to consume soda) when I remember I need to grab cash for the week ahead. I've got enough time and this Wells Fargo happens to be the best Wells Fargo in the world since the parking lot is massive and it's never crowded. Not on Fridays, not on the first of the month. It is an island to itself, a fiscal oasis.

Leisurely, I advance to the drive-thru ATM. Here's where it gets tricky. There are two drive-thru ATM boxes with one car at each station. I pull up and into the center just behind both of them. Because there is ample room and absolutely no lines that would dictate you having to commit to either lane, I patiently wait centered in the middle. A reasonable decision that would be self-evident to anyone pulling up behind me.

Unless you are this asshole:

Even though I arrived first and should have first pick of the stations, the guy behind me decides to swerve in crooked and ignore the line queue I have created. I understand the need to want to commit to a line because it may seem more orderly, but in the case of a spacious drive-thru ATM it creates anarchy.

Now before you take my fiance's side (who disagrees with my stance in this matter and refuses to marry me unless I change my position) I want you to ask yourself this question: How can you predict which car has the old person in it? You know, the one who thinks they're at Burger King and can be overheard trying to order a Whopper Jr. with extra pickles. The answer is that you can't predict anything because all you can see is a shadow of hair through a back windshield. That's the purpose of the queue, first come first served. If the guy on the left finishes first, then you go left. If the one on the right finishes first, go right.

Confused, I gesture over to the guy with arms fully extended. Now it's clear; a Larry David-like situation is about to occur. The guy who swerved in front and picked a lane got to the ATM before me and I got forced to the right, stuck for ten minutes behind Ms. Daisy who couldn't figure out why her AARP membership card wasn't accepted.

Weigh in on this great debate in the comments section below. So long!

John Carter of Burbank

Last night Disney treated a select few to an early screening of its latest feature film John Carter. For the benefit of those without WIKIpedia, John Carter is based on the Edgar Rice Burros character, which has been around since 1912. After so many incarnations in comics and a few movies that never came to be, this is John Carter’s first appearance on the big screen.

But you’ve already seen this story.

Some did it very well; I’m talking to you Daniel Day Lewis. While some didn’t do it justice, I’m talking to you James Cameron. The story is in fact one of the earliest versions of the cliché: Man travels to foreign land, sheds skin, becomes one of the people of said land and finds unlikely love in that land.

Even though in many ways it’s the original version of that tale, John Carter could have been a victim of cliché. Instead Andrew Stanton, the Pixar visionary behind great stories like Toy Story and Finding Nemo reminded the audience that something becomes cliché because it’s originally worth repeating over and over again.

John Carter won’t take you on a lot of twist and turns story wise, however the plot remains solid without surrendering to the action. We get a great John Carter in former Gambit Taylor Kitsch and another super animated performance from Boondock Saint Willem Dafoe. Each important role in the film could have been a lesson for writers on how to give characters voice.

The visual of transforming Utah into Mars, creatures and all is the skeletal support of this film. Without drowning the viewer in dry red everything, Mars becomes a believable world on the brink of death. CG characters are so true to the actors and material, personally Dafoe is now my favorite Martian. Kitsch on screen superpowers make me believe this is what we’re all like when we become superman and get superpowers by going to an alien planet. Well choreographed action with complementary score, seems basic but still manages to go beyond film 101.

Bottom line, to all the skeptics like myself, relax this is John Carter of Mars.

Overall I give the movie a 4 out of 5 but the true importance of John Carter is to our current age of cinema. Beginning with the dark tone of Batman Begins, then that moment where we saw the first Watchmen trailer and now seeing a movie that some fans have waited more than twenty years for. John Carter solidifies this age of cinema as the age of the movie we thought we’d never get to see.

Thank you to L.A Times, and Geoff Boucher for hosting these events, it’s probably a lot of fun for you guys, but it can’t be easy. Hats off to you! Though I will not pay to read it online for $5.

- David N.

Duct Duct Goose

To save time, here is a brief run down of the amusing things that have happened since January 2nd, 2012, the last time this space was updated.

Self-Inflicted Car Accident: When you go off course (go to work on your off day, text the wrong person, etc;) you're prone to something awful happening. I proved this theory a few weeks ago when we drove to the wrong location while scouting for wedding reception halls. As we were leaving to drive towards the correct address my front bumper got snagged on the curb, made a loud noise, and flipped up and inside out. There were two kids walking home from school who witnessed all this happening and acted appropriately, laughed heartily while staring at me. Our friend Victor gave us white duct tape as a housewarming gift (?) seven months ago and it finally came in handy:


Made New Friends: For those of you who read this blog religiously, the How Y'all Doin' Today guy that roams our apartment complex and was once found shaving outside in the back parking lot had a long conversation with me about music. I rolled up one night blasting some CCR and he told me that was a great way to end the work day. We talked about music for twenty minutes and I surprised him with my knowledge of Chess Records' artists like Willie Dixon, Muddy Waters, and Howlin' Wolf.

Video Games: Gave up on Call of Duty, went back to Fallout 3. Every now and then I continue to embarrass myself playing Dance Central 2, but that's a private matter and will offer no further details.

Sticking Around: Got these songs stuck in my head over the past month:

Consider Yourself - Oliver Soundtrack
Laid Back by White Horse
Hoedown by Aaron Copland
Fly Like an Eagle by Seal


That's all for now. See you in another 40 days!

My Top 5 Favorite Places To Camp In Modern Warfare 3

As my Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 bracketed callsign indicates (Number zero, or [#0]), I do not think highly of my game. Despite a few lucky head-shots and Semtex sticky blasts you'll most often see me spinning around in circles racking up my death count and ruining any chance of our team winning a match.

After playing the game for about fifty hours since purchase I can tell you that all of what I have learned comes courtesy of the more experienced players. Through years of practice, the seasoned COD player knows where to find every hidden grassy knoll or shadowed corner. They wait and stalk, quietly hovering above the trigger button. Moving slowly, they wait to hear your footsteps until, just like that, you're shot dead. Then they move on.

I choose not to.

Not only because it's the only way I can get multiple kills, but because I'm still awful at this game after hours of practice. Also, I find it incredibly funny to provoke someone I may have killed four times from hiding in the same spot for five minutes.

So, for all of you cowardly assholes looking for some easy kills and hearty laughs I present you with my top 5 favorite places to camp in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3:


#5.) Map: DOME. Specific Camping Location: There's a grassy corner right near the giant dome that you can squat in for almost the entire match and average at least three kills. It's near two exit/entrances and there's a third one up towards the left.


#4.) Map: MISSION. Specific Camping Location: Near two barrels you can set up shop where most of the action happens in this map. Much like the Dome camping space, you have enemies flying in from all over. They're usually running up and down the hill in front of you as well as coming from across the bridge to your left.


#3.) Map: HARDHAT. Specific Camping Location: In the middle of the map you've got everyone's favorite underground sewer. Sit atop it at any point during the game and you can kill people coming out of it or anyone coming from the enclosed area to the right.


#2.) Map: ARKADEN. Specific Camping Location: This one almost made my #1 pick. Here you're hidden in the center of the action with enemies spawning right in front of that entrance. Most of the seasoned players will come from behind and knife you but I find it worth the risk. I can't tell you how many people never look there and run to your right just waiting to be sniped.


#1.) Map: CARBON. Specific Camping Location: Making #1 on my list is this enclosed area located in the left corner of the map. It's great because nobody can run behind you and if you're fast enough you can kill anything that runs/walks by. Careful though, after you kill the same guy a third time he will be frustrated and may start throwing grenades from every angle to try and oust you. This spot will guarantee you at least 6 or 7 kills during a match and provide loads of laughs.

The 96%, More or Less

Count me in.

Speaking of wishful thinking, here's what I demand/expect from the upcoming 2012:

1. More courteous thank-you hand gestures when I let people merge.

2. Less sodium intake.

3. More reflection on the music I bought ten years ago. More listening to that music in my car and remembering how much Fantastic Damage changed my taste in Hip-Hop and music in general.

4. Less Tebowing from everyone.

5. More grilled asparagus and exotic beer tasting.

6. Less time spent having to use my current pair of glasses.

7. More Dodger games attended.

8. Less worrying about the roots slowly decaying from beneath my molars.

9. More time off from work spent with the Mrs.

10. Less cutting people off mid-sentence. Not sure how I picked this up but it's a dick move and I've already cut back.

11. More of a routine around health checks. Medical benefits being wasted every month is nonsense.

12. Less jury duty.

13. More movie watching and less TV show watching. There's so much I still haven't caught up on.

14. Less people blocking the driveway.

15. More visits to Seal Beach.

16. Less TVs falling on my head in the warehouse.

17. More priority around updating IEC and reminding myself how fun it is to write.


Be safe you filthy animals!

Jingle Jingle Jingle

With just two hours until most of Los Angeles visits a Catholic church for midnight mass I think now is the time to finally step away from getting pwned in Call of Duty to spruce up the joint.

*spruce spruce*

The year shaped up nicely. The Dodgers will be McCourt-less in 2012, I survived another year of retail turmoil, and my girlfriend (now fiancee) of two years said she's up to the challenge of dealing with my forgetful squirrel-like attention span and deplorable kitchen sink sponge habits for an eternity (awww.)

Man. I love this part of It's A Wonderful Life. George Bailey goes nuts on Uncle Billy and pulls him up by his jacket collar to yell at him, then he just flipped out on his kids, threw a bunch of stuff around in their living room and the youngest one is crying at the piano. I have closed captioning on which made it even better:

Oh daddy. ... [sobbing]

Sorry about that. Anyways, as I was saying, 2011 was a lot of fun. I didn't have to get any more gallbladders taken out, there were no major car accidents, we moved into a new place, lost some weight, gained a little back over these past two weeks, got some really cool Christmas presents, spent some quality time with old friends when I could, found an ice cream fudge bar that I like, sold a ton of stuff on eBay for decent money, destroyed friends and family on WordsWithFriends, ate some zucchini, flew to Albuquerque, renewed my license, broke away from Facebook, and last month I finally completed Fallout: New Vegas.

Here's to a all of you having a great holiday. 'Til next time.

Pink Elephants On Parade

That fuzzy piece of evidence was snapped in a hurry as the drunk driver of an SUV was being handcuffed and taken away for smashing into three parked cars just outside our complex. Watching the aftermath made me feel lucky for avoiding that kind of drama a few years ago when I'd take my chances at the wheel before sobering up. Either way, here's a list of things you or your party probably shouldn't do or say when being busted for a D.U.I.:

1. Don't Try To Reason With The Sober: My fiancee called the police moments after the crash. While waiting for the cops to come, the driver's man (aka wannabe Pitbull) tried to reason with the damaged property's owners. Yo man I promise yo we gonna take care of it, naw I'm sayin'.... When on earth has that ever worked? Besides, I just signed up with Allstate and they won't give you a dime unless you have a police report.
2. Don't Try To Be Smart: Your girl is wasted, she fucked up, take it like a champ. Don't tell the cops what to do especially if you're just as buzzed. Relax and quit whining.
3. Now Is Not The Time To Try Being Tough: "Who is your supervisor? I want to speak to your supervisor!". Wow. Do you really think that's going to stop your heina from being arrested? Not to mention the fact that when the supervisor arrives you cower in fear and pretended like you didn't say anything.
   
4. Don't Make Jokes About The Police When They Can Clearly Hear What You Are Saying Over There: How do you not know about this rule?
5. Don't Talk Any More: After you've thrown your tantrum, tried to reason with the police or the other parties, just shut the hell up. This guy was walking around the street trying to tell everyone to go back in their homes and mind their own business. He resorted to calling the neighborhood "janky". Reality check: You're only drunk; you didn't get in a time machine to 1978 when people last used that word.

Apartment Life: The H.Y.D.T. Update

If anyone wants a free shirt there's a child's size medium that has been laying in motor oil for a few weeks now and can be yours if you act now. For anyone not interested in this limited time offer please continue reading.

We're going on five months here at the new apartment and there's been loads of new discoveries. For example, it has never been more apparent to us that children act the way that they do because their dumb shit parents allow it. Bang on the walls? Sure. Bang on the front screen? Yep. Bang on the couch and slam the closet doors at random hours? Oh hell yeah. I, like most of you, fight the urge to be that guy. You know, the guy that tells other parents to keep their kids quiet in a movie theater or the one who asks someone else's infant to stop making a mess of the pillow pets at the store. Any of that can open up the flood gates to phrases like "Don't tell me how to raise my kids" and creates confrontation that isn't worth the trouble. In the end, you just have to ignore it the best you can and accept that most young parents are a bunch of lazy inconsiderate assholes.

Another fun surprise has been the cast of characters we didn't expect to meet from living in close quarters. There's the old dude that sometimes shaves outside with a broken mirror and a straight razor that always asks "How Y'all Doin' Today?" even if you're walking alone. "How Y'all Doin' Today?" (or H.Y.D.T. as I like to call it) was asked of me at least three times yesterday, a new record. Carrying laundry to your car? How Y'all Doin' Today. Running late for work? How Y'all Doin' Today. It's H.Y.D.T. 24/7, 365. My favorite moment occurred just recently when the H.Y.D.T. man asked if my employer was hiring for the season. That conversation went about as awkward as you'd think. Some other characters include the asshole who drives the Honda and thinks the parking garage is a NASCAR track, the middle aged lesbian who thinks the doorway to the apartment is the set of LifeChangers with Dr. Drew, and the idiot female driver who can never, ever seem to park between the lines of her parking space.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for the next apartment life update. Until then, ask yourself: How Y'all Doin' Today?

Pink's On A Wednesday Night At 7:38pm

I'm on pace to work six days this week so the Mrs. and I spent my only day off heading north to visit The Grove, Farmer's Market, and finally to Pink's. Normally this visit would also include a trip to Amoeba Music, but I still haven't listened to all the new music I bought from the last time we went and that was over a year ago I think.

Two years ago I wrote about traveling to Pink's alone (bew hew) and ordering the fattiest thing they had. I just re-read that blog and it made me glad that I don't live around the block from this place. It's not hard to picture me wolfing down chili dogs on a routine basis and besides it would take away some of the fun of coming here and making it an event.

Wednesday night there were two people in line and they had just gotten done ordering as we arrived. This was the first time I'd ever seen no line at this place so like a dorky tourist I snapped a picture and sent it to Ripley's. Not really, but you get the idea.

And so my November blogging hiatus is over. Expect at least another ten blogs before the month is over. Shalom.

Remember, Remember the 25th of November

The 25th of November bring a Friday that's black

A Friday in which I wish I could turn time back

People line up in droves to buy useless things

New employees not knowing what black Friday brings,

A Friday where people wait in line about 3 days ahead

The smells so repulsive, they stink worse than the dead

Missing Thanksgiving dinner thinking they'll get a steal

But how is saving 20 dollars on a piece of shit dynex a deal?

Sure store had bargains but that was a long time ago

Now retailers push out crap to customers because "What do they know?"

God forbid you get the last laptop deal and want to take it to your place

Because now you gotta look out for the black guy trying to punch you in the face,

This 25th of November take notice to what I said

The best way to spend black Friday is at home in your bed

I know this time last year this blog was filled with the same rants

But Im just trying to spare everyone a day standing behind someone who just shit there pants.

me > Russell Simmons' def poetry jam

-Lozano out

World Series Game 2 - Live Blogging the 9th

@7:51pm - Top of the 9th inning, Game 2 is tied with one out. Commercial for Tower Heist almost made me throw up the Fiber One cereal I've been eating without milk.

@7:57pm - Sac fly by Michael Young, Texas takes the lead. No matter how hard I try to pretend these Fiber One cereal pieces are still not Dorritos.

@7:59pm - Another commercial break. That Pepsi commercial montage of all the past music icons that have endorsed their fizz falls flat. Just show the Ray Charles ad in its entirety for the right one, baby.

@8:02pm - Texas, with a 2-1 lead in the bottom of the 9th, gives up a lead off walk. That's the equivalent of Mario sales leading without a clipboard, Abel picking a dot-com order before checking RSS, David drawing the Joker in complete ink before using pencil, Daniel pouring a bowl of Frankenberry before checking to see if there's milk, or me buying a tie at Ross when the Wednesday shipment hasn't even arrived. There are some things you just don't do.

@8:11pm - Furcal popped out to right to end the inning, series tied at 1 game a piece.

Fox's coverage gets progressively worse each year. I'm tired of the fan close-ups. Stop interrupting the game with shots of moms biting the cuffs of their sweaters and old dudes with a gleam in their eye. Let the drama evolve organically and quit showing us how tight each fan is holding their ass in anticipation for the next pitch. Enough!

APT FOR RENT

OUTDOOR APT FOR RENT (SPACIOUS) - One bed, slightly used, plenty of room. Patron must enjoy being in public eye. Restroom/shower not provided, must improvise. All pets, bugs, living creatures accepted. NOTE: No enclosed walls. $500 Deposit required.

That's the second mattress to block the drive way to our complex since we got settled in July. I saw it there earlier in the day, ran some errands, and when I came back it was still lying there. As with the first mattress I took it upon myself (ew, I touched it) to move it off to the side so it wouldn't ruin anyone's dubs.

What allows a person to think that leaving a used mattress curbside for an entire day is acceptable? Most garbage trucks will ignore it and there's nobody I can think of that has bragged about scoring a used mattress for nada. Why not donate it, recycle it, or use your Boost Mobile minutes and call the city removal to come pick it up. I'll give you a pass if you live in a residential area and have your own front lawn. You obviously have the space and aren't intruding on anyone else. But on a street filled with apartment complexes you've got to know better.

Spark

I can't remember which tumblr. blog I stole this from, but I definitely need it. For some reason it reminds me of the fire you could throw in the original Zelda.

Speaking of tumblr., I'm loving the short-form blogging (or micro-blogging) of pictures, quotes, and various other things. I downloaded the tumblr. application to my phone and I'm still not sure how to navigate through it yet. Either way I'm compiling a short list of of what I consider the most interesting tumblr. accounts so look for that over the next few days. Until then, work on getting me that lamp.

Always Reading LA Weekly

Ten years ago I took the back page of a 2001 LA Weekly and taped it to the wall in my bedroom. It sat on my wall for a good number of years, next to all the other artist and musician posters I'd collected over a year or two. The entire page was dedicated to promoting the soon-to-be open Amoeba Music in Hollywood. There were countless articles written prior to their opening that made me so excited to be a part of something so big. I was living in a city that would have one of the biggest record stores in the U.S.

From sixteen and on I used the LA Weekly as a guide to all things music related. It was how I found out about upcoming gigs, rising artists, album reviews, interviews, and all the different venues surrounding Los Angeles. I visited the Knitting Factory, House of Blues, Glass House, you name it- all thanks to the Weekly.

My mom turns sixty this year. For as long as I can remember, she would bring me home copies of the LA Weekly every week and give me insight on some of the articles she had already finished reading while waiting for the bus in Downtown L.A.. I was always surprised she was reading that kind of newspaper. I know the Weekly can sometimes skew to the left politically and that they write about provocative topics you'd never read in the L.A. Times, but I was mostly caught off guard because I always wondered if she knew about the sleazy porn ads in the back. I guess it's safe to assume she knew and even funnier to consider that those ads never bothered her. Still though, they were and still are really sleazy.

We had a family dinner three nights ago. The guest list included myself, my better half, my mom, and my sister. The bride-to-be was in the kitchen putting together two freshly made pizzas with pineapple, ham, and peperoncini slices while I threw my shoes on to switch cars in front so they'd have a place to park. We get back to our apartment and my mom is loaded with two bags filled with all the food we've tried to stop eating (Candy!!) and before they settle in or get to work on the salads I noticed that my mom, just like all the years before, made sure to snag an LA Weekly from her office for me to read.

Listed below are a few articles I stumbled upon from this week's update. Read on:

• Frivolous Lawsuit: Some idiot is suing the guys behind The Hangover II claiming the events happened to him in real life and that they stole his story.
• Uhhhh: A cop tweeted a picture of a dead body in Watts and it's getting a lot of attention.
• Blue It Up: More details on the McCourt/Dodgers saga.
• That's Your Opinion: They've been counting down the top LA rap albums of all time. See how many you have in your collection.
• Nintendo: There's a cutting board that looks like a NES controller. *Want*

It's 3:09am so I'm calling it quits until tomorrow. Buenas noches.

#MapleThief

The last 24 hours have been eventful. I threw up a large cup of coffee, my car battery died and left me stranded in BroVille (Fullerton, CA), my car alarm went bonkers, and today I was awarded with the joys of credit card fraud.

Some hoser, or hosette, was using my card number to buy gas from ExxonMobil, 76, and some place called Von's Fuel all located in Ontario Canada.

There's not much you can do about this kind of situation other than make a million phone calls and wait two months for everything to clear. Calling Wells Fargo to report this kind of fraud and cancel your card is a forty-five minute extravaganza filled with these kinds of questions and responses:

• Did you authorize any of these disputed charges?: What?- Authorize what? Did I authorize the charges I'm disputing? No, that's why I'm calling.
• Have you been to Canada recently?: No. I just made a purchase in Bellflower, CA.
• Have you been to Ontario recently?: No.
• Have you been to Ontario, California recently?: What? No.
• Have you ever given your card to someone else?: Never.
• Do you have your PIN number written on your card?: No.

At one point they ask if you've filed a police report which confused the hell out of me. They recommended I file a report but the police can't do anything if 1.) the charges won't go through for 3-5 days, 2.) the fraud happens outside the U.S., and 3.) your bank hasn't sent you that nineteen page claims form to fill out and process over two months. I didn't find all that out until Officer Joseph arrived to my apartment complex and chuckled at what I told him Wells Fargo told me to do.

As it stands now my debit card is dead and I'm using other methods of payment until this works itself out. Until then check your account daily, minimize online shopping, and don't visit Canada until those puck chucking syrup slugs repay my losses. Eh!

Four Points

That is a turkey burger with romaine lettuce used as buns. Yes, it's come to that.

For those who were unaware, I asked my girlfriend of two years to marry me last Friday. With about a year away from the wedding date we decided that this is a good time to focus on eating right and decrease the amount of times I've passed out wheezing walking up a flight of stairs.

She enrolled in Weight Watchers which gives you a daily food allotment and awards points for the foods you eat. I'm following along best I can to support healthier habits so that turkey burger up there costs 4 points, about 13% of what we're allowed to eat the entire day. To put that in perspective: a Double-Double is 15 points.

I'll miss you, In-N-Out.

Food Trucked

Years of being ignored by customers seeking decent, edible meals has led the Sizz' to bring their crappy sliders and mozzarella sticks to your neighborhood parking lot.

In case you missed it, Sizzler and Jack In The Box are the first of the fast food giants to hop on the food truck trend.

Nobody is going to follow either of those trucks on twitter. There's no fun in tracking down a truck that serves food you can usually find within a five mile radius. Jack's stuffed jalapenos are amazing but I can get them any time. Nom Nom and Grill 'Em All are specialties, they offer variety, innovation, and most of all something that tastes better than most things on the menu at either of those generic mobile restaurants.

Not all food trucks are honest or exquisite. For every Frysmith there's a local truck that lost their hot spot to a bunch of twenty-somethings who bought some neon paint and drew a cute logo. The worst food trucks are the ones that added a mandarin orange to a pork taco and charge $8 for the foreign flavor.

But really, most of the trucks I've tried have been reasonably priced and offer comfort food from all cultures. Tracking the best ones down is all part of the fun. Word of mouth and social media bring excitement to your gluttonous journey, something you won't get from a Sizzler on wheels.

Sale On Chorizo

This little fella is on sale during the Brewers playoff run for only $12.97. If they make it to the World Series and win I promise to buy it for one lucky IEC reader or contributor. Details to come later.

Free Tires (Maybe)

Snapped this pic yesterday where the 605 meets the 91. There's nothing holding those tires in other than the four poles on each corner and at the top.

That Wasn't Sugar

I found this gem of a story via LAWeekly.com:

Parents, try to keep your babies away from your coke stash. Even though that's a fairly commonsense guideline, a mom and dad (along with mommy's bro) were arrested in Atascadero north of L.A. this week after their 18-month-old went Lohan on their cocaine, at least according to what local cops alleged to the Weekly. Paramedics were called, and seeing as all is not right with the world when a year-and-half-old baby boy has to be treated for yay-yo ingestion, decided it might be prudent to let their police friends in on the fun.

Amazing. In addition to not leaving coke out for baby Huey to digest, here's a few more things the parents of 2011 need to get right:

• Stop bringing junior to the movies. You gave up the right to have a good time at the cineplex when you made that extra DNA.
• Retail locations and malls are not day cares. It's not okay for you to let your youngin' park in front of a television while you pick out a mouse pad.
  
• If you don't look where you're going with that stroller I'm going to make sure that your infant experiences what an amateur UFC fight feels like as we both tumble to the ground, limbs flailing.
  
• We once saw a baby crawling into the street in Norwalk, CA. I havn't seen this happen since then so keep doing that whole thing where you watch your child at all times. It's working.

October is here and I'm setting a goal of at least one blog per day for the entire month. This time it's quantity over quality to keep me in line so stay tuned...

The Race Is On

Oh, Sausagegate. The year was 2003 and I was watching Conan the night Randall Simon of the Pirates slammed his bat on the Italian Sausage (see video above). He played the clip a few times noting that the other two sausages briefly stop to look back and then continue on to finish the race. I couldn't stop laughing then and I still find it incredibly funny eight years later. She was okay, obviously, and didn't suffer any permanent damage.

The 2011 MLB Playoffs started tonight and although I won't be able to watch any game in its entirety I'll be following it closely on my phone. I think a Brewers/Rays World Series would be entertaining, but I have no vested interest in any single team winning it all. If anything jumps out at me during the playoffs you'll see it here, otherwise let's have a great October and go Dodgers.