Friday, December 31, 2010

Final Hours of 2010

As usual, I got too busy/lazy to complete my Ridiculous New Years Resolutions articles that I promised to have up five days ago. I have some crazy suspicion that nobody was checking daily to see if I'd follow through so I guess everybody wins.

I'm still unsure of where I'll be or what I'll be doing when the clock strikes midnight so here are tonight's odds accompanied above by my favorite Black Keys song from 2010:

1,000,000/1: Playing Yahtzee. Seriously, nobody understands this game. I once got a Showdown: Yahtzee boardgame for Christmas and tried to learn the rules. Are you kidding me? I have to do what with three dice, then take two dice and not do that same thing or I'll lose. What?

1,000/1: Singing Karaoke. I learned my lesson. Not happening.

100/1: Getting Rich. Not sure how this would happen. Maybe as I'm being picked up from a pool of my own vomit I find out that I've had some gold coin lodged in my stomach for a few years and now it has surfaced to bring me fortune.

25/1: Crying. Realizing the fact that I didn't meet my goal of reading at least one book this year or complete an entire excerise/work-out, I break down in the silence of my bathroom.

10/1: I Become Shirtless. This acts as a side bet if the 5/1 odd goes too far (see below).

5/1: I Get Drunk. Somebody shoved a Blue Moon and some Jack Daniels in my face and forced me to be Irish again.

2/1: I'm Sleeping. As the cold drool rolls down my cheek onto the pillow case I don't move a muscle as Picolo Pete's are lit by every neighbor within a two mile radius.

1/1: I'm Hugging. Awwwwwwwwwww <3!

Let it also be known that on the eve of 2010 I conquered the Beef Crunch Burrito with Flamin' Hot Fritos and figured out what the lyrics were to that song everyone sings at midnight.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne?

- Mike O.

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