Monday, November 24, 2008

Chad Billingsley's Thigh(s) In Jeopardy?

On Saturday it was announced that Chad Billingsley slipped on ice outside of his home in Reading, PA. And yes, Dodger fans everywhere trembled in fear at the thought of our big legged boy going down like a mighty sequoia.

Chad's thighs are huge. To say they look disproportionate to his body would be an understatement. Now, that's not to say that Chad is fat (FAT!). If you'd only stare at a picture of the plump Jonathan Broxton, then compare it to our boy Bills, you'd see the difference I see. Broxton is just a giant lardo, with a clear indication of where stomach mass ends and jumbo ham-hocks begin. Billingsley is all thigh.

During the season, I was laughed off the air (yes, I was) from Dodger Talk on KABC 790 for merely stating the obvious: that Billingsley's thighs are just amazingly big and awesome and the source of all his power. The hosts, great guys, went on for a few minutes plus mocking my statement.

I'm secure with my sexuality. I don't need to prove anything to any one.

And neither do you.

Please, celebrate Chad's thighs and wish him a speedy recovery.

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