I'm not big on this time of year for reasons only close friends are aware of, but there's at least one thing I am thankful for this Thanksgiving: Coach Mike Gundy.
On September 22nd, 2007, the head coach of the Oklahoma State Football team provided the world with 3 minutes and 20 seconds of post-game press conference ranting bliss. In the YouTube era, I have honestly watched this thing too many times (it's been a year, no moving on for me). Unfortunately, I was so inspired that I transcribed the entire speech about a month after the video surfaced.
So, in honor of November 2007, here is the video complete with a line-for-line reading of the speech.
"I wanna talk about this article right here. If anybody hasn’t read this article- I don’t read it- This was brought to me by a mother… of children. I think this is worth reading. Let me tell you why I wanna talk about this article. Three-fourths of this is inaccurate. It’s fiction. And, this article, embarrasses me to be involved in athletics… tremendously. And that article, had to of been written by a person that doesn’t have a child. And has NEVER HAD A CHILD THAT’S HAD THEIR HEART BROKEN AND COME HOME upset. AND HAD TO DEAL WITH THE CHILD, WHEN HE IS UPSET. AND KICK A PERSON WHEN HE’S DOWN. HERE’S ALL THAT KID DID: HE GOES TO CLASS, HE’S RESPECTFUL TO THE MEDIA, HE’S RESPECTFUL TO THE PUBLIC, AND HE’S A GOOD KID. He’s not a professional athlete and he doesn’t deserved to be kicked when he’s down. If you have a child someday, you’ll understand how it feels. But you obviously don’t have a child, I do. IF YOUR CHILD GOES DOWN THE STREET, AND SOMEBODY MAKES FUN OF HIM BECAUSE HE DROPPED A PASS IN A PICK-UP GAME… OR SAYS HE’S FAT! AND HE COMES HOME CRYING TO HIS MOM. You’d understand. But you havn’t had that. But someday you will. And when your child comes home, you’ll understand. IF YOU WANNA GO AFTER AN ATHLETE, ONE OF MY ATHLETES, YOU GO AFTER ONE THAT DOESN’T DO THE RIGHT THING. YOU DON’T DOWNGRADE HIM BECAUSE HE DOES EVERYTHING RIGHT AND MAY NOT PLAY AS WELL ON SATURDAY, AND YOU LET US MAKE THAT DECISION. THAT’S WHY I DON’T READ THE NEWSPAPER… BECAUSE IT’S GARBAGE! AND THE EDITOR THAT LET IT COME OUT IS GARBAGE! ATTACKIN’ AN AMATEUR ATHLETE FOR DOIN EVERYTHING RIGHT. AND THEN YOU WANNA WRITE ARTICLES ABOUT GUYS THAT DON’T DO THINGS RIGHT AND DOWNGRADE THE ONES THAT DO MAKE PLAYS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHERE ARE WE AT IN SOCIETY TODAY? COME AFTER ME!! I’M A MAN!! I’M 40!! I’M NOT A PL- I’M NOT A KID! Write something about me. Or our coaches. Don’t write about a kid, that does everything right, that’s hearts broken, and then say that the coaches said he was scared- THAT AIN’T TRUE! And then to say we made that decision because Donnovan was, because he threatened to transfer- THAT‘S NOT TRUE! So get your FACTS straight. And I hope someday you have a child and someone be-downgrades him and belittles him and you have to look him in the eye and say, ‘you know what… that’s okay’. They’re supposed to be mature adults but they’re really not. And who’s the kid? Who’s the kid here? Are you kidding me? That’s all I got to say. Makes me wanna puke. (Applause).