Thursday, July 16, 2009

Get Out The Rye Bread And Mustard, Grandma!

I'll be out of town for four days (read all about it) which means it was time to hit the dollar store and see what travel sized necessities I could score before hitting CVS or Target. Now normally I avoid these places since everything is trashed, from the products on the ground to the customers in wife-beaters, but I received a tip from my sister that this one was the exception to the rule.

While this place was incredibly cleaner than any other 99 cent store I've ever seen, I still didn't find much of anything I really needed other than a toothbrush/toothpaste combo pack from everybody's favorite doctor, Dr. Fresh.

What I did find though was tons of other dumb crap to distract me, such as an entire four-by-four section of sports brand talking bottle openers. Sure, none of them featured Los Angeles based teams, but who needs that when you can buy an Atlanta Braves, Florida Marlins, or Ariza Wildcats bottle opener. My goal is to collect one per week and this time it was Dave Niehaus' time to shine via a Bret Boone grand salami call for the Seattle Mariners:

(I did not buy that beer, it was given to me by my neighbor. I didn't even open it. I swear.)

Still shopping for collectibles on a budget? Here's a few other things you get for a dollar:
  • Plastic plates with Clippers, UCLA, or Braves logos
  • A 3D poster of Priest Holmes (to burn)
  • An Atlanta Braves World Series highlight reel or Wayne Gretzky's Winning Techniques also on VHS

Apparently there's a million Braves fans in L.A.. I love Tim Hudson too but they should get some Dodger things in stock since the store is in Los Angeles.

Talking bottle openers and anything with that "plays when you push it" button usually break within a few days so if you want to have a beer with me and enjoy a Mariner's call you'd better act fast. Next week: Florida Marlins talking bottle opener.

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