Monday, December 20, 2010

Operation LA Storm Watch 2010: The Quest For Sane Journalists

Contrary to what you've seen on KCAL, we're all going to survive these droplets of water from the heavens. The same things that normally happen in Los Angeles when it rains are going on as we speak and I survived all of them earlier today:
  • I hydroplaned on the following freeways: 605, 105, 710, and 91. I especially lost control on the 91 West to 710 North on ramp but thanks to the crazy idea of two-handed steering I was able to contain the beast that is a 2007 Toyota Corolla Sport.
  • The mall parking lots were crowded for some unknown reason (what the hell is going on??!) and pedestrians were rightfully soaked when standing idly by the curb.
  • After wiping all the dust off my defroster button it turns out that it still works.
  • Blinking red street lights allowed the cars at the intersection of Imperial and Garfield to perform the choreographed dance known as alternating.
  • Some giant white truck waiting for my parking spot in front of Forever 21 had to hold on for an extra five minutes as I stalled for no apparent reason in the spirit of Christmas.
  • Lines everywhere. I waited patiently as cashiers frazzled by business checks and Canadian quarters were trying to contain their tears.
Traffic and rain, rain and traffic. This happens maybe ten days out of the year so don't take Dallas Raines' forecast for the apocalypse too serious.

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