Tuesday, December 21, 2010

UFZ: The Green Hornet Strikes

Like the courageous Britt Reid, my personal Kato and I braved the apocalyptic sprinkle outside to watch Seth Rogen's adaptation of The Green Hornet.

For those too lazy to open a new tab and google Green Hornet, it's a tale of disgruntled underachieving bad ass Britt Reid. In a similar manner to DC comics Bruce Wayne, he inherits his fathers empire after a suspicious family murder. In an attempt to prove he's not a waste of skill he becomes the crime fighter known as (over exaggerated voice here) Greeeeen Horrrnet. This was not what was thespianized on the screen tonight

After seeing the comic con footage, reading the awesome Kevin Smith version of the story and being disappointed by Carls Jr's chicken tenders needless to say my expectations for this movie were not high by any means. Especially when your tag line is, Written by the team that brought you such dynamic action films as Knocked Up, Superbad, and the FortyYear Old Virgin?

From the beginning I wanted to hate Seth Rogen's portrayal of antagonist Britt Reid. In fact I hated the fat kid that portrayed the young Britt Reid in the movies opening flashback. Let's move on, it's now and Britt is a slacker / playboy who continues to piss his father off. After his fathers death, he's somehow forced to take over the family business. (Let this be a lesson make a will) Around this time we're introduced to his fathers mechanic/ coffee maker Kato. In order to piss off his father even more the two become the comedic crime duo Green Hornet and the nameless sidekick. Insert mob plot that intersects with his fathers death and add a Kato Green hornet fight with conflict resolution. Finish it off with an ingenious plan to take down the mob and ice it with a very entertaining blues brothers like car chase and you have the green hornet in 30 seconds.

The best part of the movie and the star in my opinion, is the Black Beauty itself. A 57 Chrysler that would make anyone feel like a bad ass and makes me want to go to Carl's Jr and buy a large drink so I can win it. I can't do it justice you just have to see it to believe it.

The best way to describe the portrayal of Britt Reid is Seth basically made the guy from Pinapple express into a millionaires son, that's the extent of the character. In a stupid way it's genius, he doesn't stretch himself into another character instead Seth Rogen makes the character into himself because hey, if your old enough to remember the Green Hornet radio show your either dead or a head in a cryogenic freezer. Cameron Diaz is barley worth mentioning, I kept waiting for Edward James Olmos to say Cal culus. The only great performance was Kato who constantly walked the line between broken English Asian and total bad ass. James Franco makes a cameo early on that I hope he was paid more for than Cameron or Edward James got combined.

In the end, this movie doesn't hurt or elevate the comic book hero genre. It's simple to follow plot, over piled on comedy and well choreographed action scenes make it entertaining, that is if you know nothing previous of the characters. It's not a movie that's going to be in any ones top ten it's just going to entertain you for a little over 90 min. ( Not don't be fooled by 3D, it doesn't make a difference here)

Unemployment FUN Zone factor 3 out of 5 ( movie free, 2 bucks parking, 10 dollar cooks torta)
This movie 3 out of 5.
Fear of hydroplaning on the freeway 1 out of 5.

If your looking for a campy movie to take a date to see this. If you want the definitive Green Hornet story go read Kevin Smith's comic book version which still contains plenty of dick jokes.

- David N.

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