Monday, December 27, 2010

Ridiculious New Year's Resolution #5: Going Vegetarian

Counting down to new years wouldn't be the same unless I explored some of the all time greatest most-likely-to-fail resolutions you could ever imagine. Today, at the ripe hour of 3:41am, I present to you Ridiculous New Years Resolution #5: Quitting meat cold turkey and turning a new leaf as vegetarian.

I've never intentionally tried going a day without eating an animal, it occurs by default. I could be too lazy to cook something or even more lazy to not want to pick up the phone and order pizza. Do you know how many syllables there are in pepperoni or how many times I've had cereal for dinner? A 48 hour diet that consists of Cheez-Its, trail mix, Pringles, and iced tea is not that uncommon and it's nothing that I celebrate as a true test of restraint. It just happens.

If you operate on that kind of level, where being a vegetarian is not a conscious effort you've promised to abide by for moral obligations or otherwise, then I suggest you not make the leap this new years. If it's the end of December and you just watched Supersize Me, Fast Food Nation, and Earthlings with your new Netflix membership slowly wipe away the tears and continue eating those delicious leftovers before you go making foolish promises.

There's an easier approach that most so-called vegetarians live by. Make a simpler resolution like having a better diet or maybe just not eating as much pig's feet as you did before. Most "vegetarians" I know still get by every once in a while and cheat by eating chicken nachos or turkey sandwiches. Start there. Move away from the pig and the cow and work your way up to the feathered and scaled. Don't dive right in, take small bites (yum!).

Stay tuned for the next ridiculous resolutions as we make our way to numero uno.

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