Saturday, March 5, 2011

UFZ: Tax Edition

So I'm not in jail and as of this morning the government deposited $4,750 into my bank. So up yours anyone who said I'd have to work again by January.

How did I do it? How can you do it and not go to jail?

After reviewing my return and seeing that my student credit for not actually attending in 2010 was 1,250 on top of my standard deduction. In addition there's a little known law that went into effect that anyone can cash in on. I can sell you the secret through my new dvd series ($49.99) or you can get a true professional to do your taxes. No not Morty from H&R block, I'm talking about the shadiest person you can find. A guy that makes you go to his hidden office with two boats parked out in front of it and a columbian drug lord exiting as you pull up. I remember telling my accountant how afraid I was that I would owe the government money and he looked at me and said " I will never let that happen." Now here I am debating on what to spend my money on, perhaps a second lava lamp?

Keep in mind that you have to pay for results, someone who will bend the rules and keep you out of jail is not cheap, but the return on investment is a killing. See you in the Dodgers suite.

1 comment:

Human said...

The tax man is not always your enemy!! It does not matter what country you are paying taxes.