Friday, November 12, 2010
Red Rain by Abel L.
So yesterday I had the dubious distinction of having spent a decade working at best buy. After coming to the terms with the fact that my 20's, probably the best years of my life have been wasted there, I struggle with the thought that even though I have hated every second there, Ive met and become friends with some of the most amazing people I will ever encounter in my life.
Now that Ive gotten the gay out of my system, on to more more pressing issues. Monday November 8, a date that will live forever in the hearts and minds of best buy employees, the project team and the staff at the Downey regional medical center, I Abel Lozano almost got transferred to the big best buy in the sky. That's right, me, the duke of pricing, chancellor of keepers, sultan of Sunday ad sets, the Michael Jordan of new releases, the Maradona of truck unloading, the man who operates a telxon with the precision of a brain surgeon, almost died.
While helping a fellow employee get media baskets down from above the gondolas in the warehouse, I was struck in the head by an avalanche of metal and suffered a laceration to my head. It felt as though God himself put on a gauntlet and hit me with his best overhand right. After quickly brushing that shot off, I quickly realized I was gushing blood like a geyser at Yellowstone. Fortunately its me we're talking about so with some quick thinking I put some cd labels, bundle bands, a keeper and some best buy tape to good use. After making my way to the restroom to look in the mirror (Sorry for calling you a fucking idiot Ozzie, but next time get out of my god damn way) I noticed the hole in my head resembled a cavern Indiana Jones would make his way out of, I also looked like a circuit city employee because my shirt was now covered in B negative.
A couple of minutes later after I was talked out of using zip ties and double sided tape to close the wound, the employees drew straws to see who would get to drive me to the hospital. (thanks Juan) While in the E.R, I was consoled by the doctor asking me my two cents on buying a 3D t.v. now or waiting a couple more weeks. Unfortunately I wasn't able to explain to him connectivity or use trust as I was occupied with the synergies he was putting in my skull. After the doctor finished sewing me up better than a nine year old Vietnamese girl in a osh kosh b'gosh sweat shop, back to work I went.
Well today we had a visit from the district staff and I realized just how incredibly amazing I am and here's proof.
1. The reason I got hit in the head was probably because the warehouse was full of shit and it need to get cleaned up in hurry for the visit.
2. The shelf got me right on the hairline, so even with stitches it hard to see. It just looks like my hair.
3. Last but not least, the warehouse was a complete cluster fuck before I went to the hospital, pallets everywhere! But just as Willis Reed inspired the knicks to beat the lakers, Kirk Gibson giving the dodgers the will to beat the athletics, I Abel Lozano, (not unlike a phoenix rising from the ashes) whose misfortune got the truck done, warehouse cleaned up and had best buy employees believing in heroes once again.
- Abel L.