Cup Noodles and Farewell to April

Cup Noodles? Is that a fucking typo or has everyone been adding the 'O or the 'A in the middle of the title? Nobody has ever said "I'm eating Cup Noodles". I can't even eat them now knowing the title doesn't sound right.

Cup 'o Noodles. Cup-a-noodles. Never, ever Cup Noodles.

You guessed it, April was a slow month for IEC so here's what we have lined up for May:

• Recipes, recipes, recipes.
• An official Laker-Flag-On-Cars counter updated daily.
• Guest contributor Danny reviews another candy bar.
• Reviews of remaining Office episodes.
• Other stuff.

Go May!

A Message from Ferny Regarding the Raiders' 2009 First Round Draft Pick

"FUCK AL DAVIS!"

[link]

The Window to Stuart Scott's Soul

After double checking Wikipedia to make sure he doesn't suffer any debilitating eye-related disease that would make this post seem insensitive, Stuart Scott is now fair game for my commentary: He is a chameleon.

I may be in the infancy of my cable watching career, but after a solid year of having ESPN I find it hard to look at Stuart Scott, and for once I'm positive this is not your regular is-it-just-me situation. His left eye blinks independently and it's very distracting. I keep imagining him reading the teleprompter with one eye while staring at Chris Berman with the other.

While watching the ESPN NBA Playoff post-game I honestly couldn't look at the television when he was speaking. I'm trying to remember Tim Meadow's impression of the Boo-Yah! king on Saturday Night Live and whether or not he imitated this independent blink.

There's something missing here. None of the other sports blogs I visit turned up results for "Stuart Scott Eyes" so there's still a fear that I'm knocking him for some disorder I don't know about. In my defense I'd argue I'm not mocking him, I'm just saying it's distracting as hell.

For those who've yet to notice this, get ready to look for it every time Scott is on ESPN. It'll be just like that time everyone told you Drew Barrymore talked out of the side of her mouth and all you did was watch her mouth every time she spoke.

Early Wolverine Movie Review & David's Blah-g (Spoiler?)

While I don't agree with the layout or his apparent schism from IEC, make some time to check out David's blog that I found accidentally since he didn't tell any of us about it. It will be posted in the link section to your right.

I'm almost certain its creation was a direct response to my lack of publishing his early Wolverine movie review. I admit, I lagged it. No excuses. So, without further lagging, here is David's review unedited:

---

Hollywood Kills Wolverine
by David

(It’s important to note that this review is based on the early version of the movie that was leaked last week.)

Leaving the third x-men flick, I had low expectations for this movie. It did not disappoint on that level. Because of it's inconsistencies,this is not a movie for the hard-core Wolverine reader. On that level alone this move has failed in it's mission to redeem the X-Men franchise.

As a stand-alone movie it does the job of giving the audience average action scenes. Truth be told, this past weekend I saw Fast and Furious and that had much better action scenes. The best of Wolverine would actually be the fist wolverine vs. Sabertooth battle. The most disappointing character in the movie had to have been Ryan Reynolds portrayal of Wade Wilson, better known to fans of the Marvel Comics as Deadpool. The two reasons for this is because I like him as an actor and he just wasn’t in the movie enough. The other being the way the Deadpool character was massacred and turned into Baraka from Mortal Kombat. The only other character I was more disappointed with was the appearance of fan favorite Gambit. Those of us that remember the X-Men Saturday morning cartoon show on fox will be mortified by the missing quirks that make that character amazing. Even just giving him the red eyes with the black pupils would have been enough for me. The bright spot in the cast was Schreiber’s spot on performance as Wolverine’s arch nemesis Sabertooth. He truly captured the cold and viciousness of the character.

I’m going to spoil one thing, the best scene of the movie happens right before the opening credits so make sure not to miss it. The actors that played the young wolverine and Sabertooth had more chemistry together than the rest of the movie put together.

In the end, for a movie lacking character depth and a true climax that grabs the audience, it’s not the worst movie I’ve ever sat through. The minor fan boy moments are worth a singe watch. If I had an afternoon and six bucks to waste I’d see this movie.

Dodgers 2009 Opening Day: O-Dog, Oh Yes!

Before the commentary/recap, have a look at future IEC contributor Mario [right circle] as he watches Orlando Hudson's third inning home run ball fly over his head [left circle]. As always, click to enlarge photo.

Outstanding effort, M-Rod!

Statistics say hitting for the cycle is less likely than throwing a no hitter. In my lifetime I didn't think I'd get to witness either of them live. Thanks to Orlando Hudson [MVP of my fantasy league team Serenity Now] I was a part of Opening Day history and most importantly Dodger history. In chronological order, here are some non-game highlights from our journey today:

• 7:00am: You're The Best by Joe Esposito starts off the Baseball Songs Mix CD made the night before. All passengers are excited and sing along.
  
• 8:24: Dorritos and Blue Moon Beer for breakfast.
  
• 8:45: Rival Banda orchestras set up shop at Elysian Park. No sombreros were harmed. No white people allowed.
  
• 10:40: Gates open. Honking of horns fills the morning air.
  
• 12:45pm: Doves released during pre-game ceremonies flying away in fear of Randy Johnson and his fast ball.
• 12:47: One lone dove gets caught on the left field big screen but is freed before Randy can jump up there and murder it.
  
• 1:10-4:17pm: Game time. Read all about it.
• 4:20: Parking lot madness. My horn was used without permission.
  
• 4:36: Daniel falls asleep in car, his snorring upsets Gabriel.
• 4:51: Hooligans holding up traffic are running around with vodka bottles asking random sluts in cars to take shots. I'm not player enough to participate.
  
• 5:22: Abel and myself argue Journey's Don't Stop Believin' vs. Green Day's Brain Stew and which one has been overplayed more. Abel loses argument.
  
• 5:40?: Arrived at Jack in the Box to receive our free Sirloin Burgers courtesy of the Dodgers winning by at least three runs. Jack in the Box Sirloin Burgers suck balls.
• 6:30: Back at home to finish the Padres/Mets game.
  

Go blue!

To Bill Brasky!

Brasky got his wife pregnant, and she gave birth to a delicious sixteen ounce steak. The afterbirth was sautéed mushrooms.

For whatever reason, the following news story made me think of the Bill Brasky sketches on SNL:

Mass. liquor store offering home delivery

BEVERLY, Mass. – A Beverly liquor store is worried that hard times might keep many costumers out of the store. So, now ChrisPy's liquor store offers home delivery. Owner Chris Palazola said he began offering home delivery last month to boost business during the slow economy. For $5 ($2.50 for senior citizens), he'll take your order and deliver it to your house in his own car.

Photo Friday: Harrison Ford + Sega

There's little consistency when it comes to IEC. Features like Memory Lane Monday, Saturday Salesman, and Good Source were meant to be updated weekly. So it is with great honor to report that Photo Friday will be the exception to the rule. Every Friday from here on out I'll post our favorite picture of the week unless of course I get busy doing other things.

And now, Photo Friday salutes No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford by artist Brandon Bird (found via BoingBoing):

I'm not sure why the people playing NES won't play Sega with Harrison, but it's a conversation starter to say the least. My guess is that he only came with Altered Beast instead of any Sonic related game or even NBA Jam.

A Few Evenings @ The Library

At $13.99 a month you can rent up to 2 DVDs at once via Netflix.com. For $3.99 you can rent a new release DVD from Blockbuster for about 5 days. Your local neighborhood video rental store charges between one to two dollars a movie depending on how old it is. All of these are practical, inexpensive ways to catch up on cinematic entertainment. That is until you factor in the library.

In the past I'd spend countless hours at Commerce Library working on research papers and getting projects done for college. It's in a great area and I have some old ties to the city so I prefer going there than the one in my hometown. More recently I'd returned to Commerce to catch up on some much needed recreational reading, books ranging from God Is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens to I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert. Research, recreational reading, all legitimate reasons to be at a library.

Two weeks ago I had two books in hand and was ready to check out when I remembered they had DVDs. Years ago the selection was minimal, with maybe four to five complete sections of titles, mostly old ones that I'd already seen. But as I turned the corner there were rows and rows of semi-new release DVDs and quite a bit of television show seasons. With books in hand I scoured the shelves (meant for books) and quickly nabbed five titles: Quiz Show, Little Miss Sunshine (fuck you, the movie ruled), The Prestige, Lost Highway, and 21. In addition to said DVDs I also picked up Beck's and Metallica's latest albums. I returned a few days later this time skipping the entire library section of the library (the part with books in it) and headed straight to DVDs.

I'll be the first to admit this sounds bad. A library was not meant to be a means of renting movies for nil. In fact, I've felt so guilty that to help combat the stares from elder staff members working the counter I'll pick up a random book to pile onto my order and make it look like I'm at least trying to use the library for its intended purpose. I kept trying to compare it to downloading movies off the Internet for free, but it's not the same. The Internet was intended to support piracy.

Either way I'm not the only asshole doing this. I can't tell you how many times I've had to cough at families for staring too long at the "S" section of DVDs. Shrek is not in yet, it will never be in, stop getting in my way.

Chances are I won't give up this free perk of the library any time soon. I won't even use this economy as an excuse since I could easily afford something like Netflix but chose not to sign up for it. In any case, if any of you want to see The Rookie for free, I know a library where we can get it.

A Retraction

On March 19th, 2009, Infinite Et Cetera reported that Pittsburgh would win the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship. We regret to inform you the aforementioned statment was based off misinformation and is therefore being retracted. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Thank you.